Suffer Not a Witch to Live

Well, Tara is toast. We followers of “Buffy” pretty much saw it coming the instant that Amber Benson was added to the opening credits. Obviously a stunt to lure the unwary into a false sense of security.

On a personal level, I’m rather upset because I’ve met Amber a couple times and she’s a really sweet girl whose character deserved better than to die a pointless death from a stray gunshot by one of the Lone Wáņkërš. Still, let us consider the track record of interpersonal relationships in Sunnydale. Buffy & Angel: He dumped her. Buffy & Parker: He dumped her. Buffy & Riley: He dumped her. Buffy & Joyce: Joyce died. Buffy & Giles: Giles left. Buffy & Spike: She dumped him *and* he tried to rape her. Giles & Jenny Calendar: She was killed. Giles & Olivia: Left town after realizing Giles was telling the truth about all that black magic stuff. Xander & the Sexy Teacher: She tried to eat him. Xander & Inca Mummy Girl: She tried to suck the life out of him. Xander & Cordy: She dumped him. Xander & Faith: She humped and dumped him inside of ten minutes and later tried to kill him. Xander & Anya: He dumped her. Willow & the Demon in the Computer: He tried to kill her, as demons are wont to do. Willow & Oz: He dumped her and returned only to be dumped himself. Spike & Dru: She dumped him for a fungus demon, came back to him, and dumped him again. Spike & Harmony: Alternated between dumping each other and trying to stake each other. Amy & Larry: The classic Sunnydale romance–Before it could go anywhere, Amy got turned into a rat, Larry acknowledged he was gay, and then got killed by a serpent demon.

So you can say what you want about poor Tara’s fate, but you sure can’t say it’s inconsistent with what’s gone before. Dating someone on the Hellmouth is a lot like being an old friend of Jessica Fletcher’s: You’re going to die, or someone’s going to try and kill you, or you’ll be suspected of killing someone.

PAD