Been having some baby excitement the last few days. Kathleen started experiencing serious Braxton-Hicks contractions for the first time over the weekend…which is pretty much normal. And at work yesterday, she almost passed out a couple of times, probably because of abruptly dropping blood pressure. Again, normal, but it’s obviously disconcerting.
A guy at work poked her tummy, obviously thinking it would be marshmallow soft. He was astounded to discover that Kath literally has rock-hard abs. It’s all muscle and baby. Then the baby shoved back, and the guy actually saw the rippling of her stomach surface, and was totally skeeved. See, that’s why men couldn’t carry children. It has nothing to do with pain. It’s that by the third month, the moment it started moving around, guys would be flashing on “Alien” and would be screaming, “Get it out of me! Get it out! Ahhhhh!” for the next six months.
We’re going to the baby doc today. And no, we don’t know the gender. Brian Stelfreeze thinks it’s a boy. Julie Caitlin Brown thinks it’s a girl. And Harlan Ellison thinks it’s a tricycle. Maybe we’ll name the kid “Schwinn.”
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