March 1, 1991
The joy of cable TV. It means that, every so often, you can’t turn on the set without finding yourself watching a particular movie being run, for no discernable reason, over and over again. A movie that, very likely, you haven’t thought about in years.
The nice thing about such films is that you can have it on while you work in order to provide comfortable background noise–particularly if it’s very late at night. Helps keep you awake and give you something to look at other than a computer screen. It also prompts you to notice certain things, or be aware of aspects of the film that went past you the first time you saw it, lo those many years ago.
And so, I present herewith observations of several films that have come out within the last decade or so. Films that I enjoyed when they were released and still enjoyed now that they’re on cable. Not really reviews so much as just random thoughts.
STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN
Even though this was, to me, the unquestioned best of all five Trek films, I wasn’t able to watch it again for the last several years because I tore it apart in a sketch entitled “Star Trek the Home Movie II: The Snit of Khan,” performed by myself and a group of friends at several conventions. Every time I would watch Wrath, I would find myself mentally inserting the lines of dialogue that we had done in the sketch. For example:
KHAN: I don’t know you. But you…I never forget a face, Mister…Sulu!
CHEKOV: Uhhh….Chekov.
KHAN: Changing your name won’t help you now.
or
KIRK: Khan…you have Genesis. But you don’t have me. If you want me, Khan, you’re going to have to come down here. Do you hear me? You’re going to have to come down here!
SAAVIK: Either that or blow up the planet.
KIRK: Shut up, Saavik!
You know, that kind of thing. So I kind of ruined the film for myself for the longest time. Now, though, my sketch is far less fresh in my mind and I can go back to enjoying the movie that was the diametric opposite of the first one–exciting instead of boring, visually striking instead of drably gray, etc., etc.
But there was one moment in Wrath of Khan that really stuck out for me upon recent viewings–especially now that Next Generation is the image for so many people of Trek and fans engage in endless and rather pointless debates on who is the “better” captain, Kirk or Picard.
There is a point about fifty minutes into the film where Khan, having hijacked a starship, gets the drop on the Enterprise and blows the snot out of her. With the ship effectively helpless, and Kirk still at a loss as to why they’re under attack, Uhura suddenly turns and reports, “We’re being hailed by the Reliant. They’re stating terms for our surrender.”
Surrender.
When Uhura says the word, it’s as if she has just uttered a major profanity. The bridge becomes dead still, with every officer there looking at Kirk, waiting for him to say something. Kirk looks stunned that the concept has even been broached. Aside from Spock’s death, that moment when Uhura informs him that he’s being expected to give up his ship is the single most dramatic moment in the film. I remember to this day, when I first saw it in the theater, it was actually shocking. I can’t recall whether the surrender was mentioned in all three seasons of the show.
And then Kirk says, “Put it on (the screen).”
Uhura’s response? She can’t believe it. She’s certain she hasn’t heard correctly. Incredulous, in the tone of a child being told that there’s no Santa Claus, she says, “Admiral–?”
The idea of James Kirk surrendering, under any circumstance, was so alien a notion that these people who had been from one end of the galaxy to the other, seen some incredible things, literally could not comprehend it.
Later on in the scene, Kirk pulls a fast one and manages to drive his attackers off. And Sulu’s line is an extremely relieved, “Admiral, you did it!” There is the underlying text of, “We knew he’d do it. We knew he’d come up with something. Surrender the Enterprise? How ridiculous! The Admiral had something up his sleeve all along and never really was considering just giving up. He’d be blown out of space first.”
The thing that made Kirk such an intriguing character was his obsessive love/hate relationship with the ship itself. It almost bordered on the unhealthy.
So much of Kirk’s own personality, ego, and emotions were wrapped up in the Enterprise herself that, earlier in the film when Spock comments that he will be returning to the Enterprise and asks Kirk where he’s going, Kirk gives a self-mocking and derisive laugh and says “Home.” To him, the idea that “home” was anything other than the Enterprise was ludicrous. It was more than home. Surrender the Enterprise? It’s like saying, “Give me your lover or die.”
So it was something of a shock when, in the Next Generation pilot, “Encounter at Farpoint,” Captain Jean-Luc Picard surrendered the Enterprise within the first hour.
I can understand why it was done. To show where Picard’s priorities lie. To show how Picard was a man of diplomacy rather than a man of action (Kirk hit someone every other episode. Picard hits someone every other season.)
Unfortunately, for many fans, it gave Picard a wimp image that took many, many episodes to get over. It was a calculated writing move and, to my mind, one that left a bad taste. For myself, I eventually warmed to Picard but it took a long, long time and I credit that first surrender for making it that difficult.
And even to this day, I miss that obsessive aspect of an Enterprise commander. Certainly Picard is proud of his ship, but he doesn’t seem to invest as much of himself in it as Kirk did. Hëll, he’s been offered other assignments twice so far and has, in both instances, strongly considered them. And I suspect he would have done extremely well and capably in them if he had taken them, whereas Kirk sleptwalked through his non-Enterprise life.
Riker, on the other hand, has been offered other commands and has not even entertained the notion. He seems fixated on the Enterprise in a style reminiscent of the Kirk mode. It’s becoming clear that there’s more than just a career at stake here–the Enterprise is calling to him in a way it hasn’t to Picard. How pleasant.
So it’s interesting that one of the most tension and drama-filled moments in Trek II would eventually serve to point up the striking difference between her two best-known commanders.
POPEYE
When fans discuss movies or live-action portrayals of comics heroes, they almost never bring up this film, which is a shame. It deserves better than to be forgotten, if for no other than that Shelly Duval as Olive Oyl has got to be the single most perfect piece of mating actor with character in the history of cinema.
This film, the first major movie foray by Robin Williams that I can recall (I think it predated “Garp,” although I may be wrong), was savaged by the critics. ‘Twasn’t fair, but then life never is. Fortunately, Williams survived and proved that he could make films far more awful than this one before Good Morning Vietnam finally put him on the fast track.
The thing that fascinates me about Popeye to this day is the incredible attention to detail. Everything serves a purpose, every bit player has some sort of consistent personality. When you watch the final credits (presuming you stayed that long) you’ll notice that virtually every character has a specific name. None of this “Man #1,” “Woman #3,” stuff. Writer Jules Feiffer and director Robert Altman, along with various artisans, did everything they could to bring the world of Sweethaven to life. That they succeeded so completely is an achievement to be applauded and marveled at. Since it was done in conjunction with Walt Disney, you might say that this was sort of a rough draft for Ðìçk Tracy, Disney’s next and somewhat more successful delving into the world of comics. (Rocketeer, from what I’ve seen of the slides and script, looks to be a smash this summer, so they’re just getting better and better.)
Casting was brilliant. Aside from Williams (whose incessant mutterings as Popeye recalled the brilliant Jack Mercer to perfection) and Duvall, the highlights were Ray Walston as Poopdeck Pappy (Mork’s father is My Favorite Martian. I love it) and infant Wesley Ivan Hurt as the absolutely uncanny Swee’pea. A weak facial muscle duplicated Popeye’s sideways grimace, and the baby even adlibbed with razor-sharp timing.
They went wrong in three aspects. First, the attention to detail went, appropriately enough, overboard. To get us involved with the environs of Sweethaven, Altman chose to dwell endlessly on bits that were totally pointless and, even worse, boring. We didn’t really need to see one denizen fail to reach his hat because he was kicking it along the ground. It wasn’t funny in vaudeville and it wasn’t funny now. Scenes went on for waaaaay too long.
Second, the plot was all over the place. I suspect multiple rewrites.
Third, the songs. Virtually every one of Harry Nilson’s tunes sound like every other one, and they all sound like funeral dirges. I know he was writing for a host of non-singers, but honestly now. Anything was better than a film which slammed to a halt ever ten minutes or so for an endless and frequently pointless number. The best thing you could say for it is that the soundtrack is a guaranteed cure for insomnia.
If they’d lost the songs and lost about twenty minutes of film, they would’ve had a successful flick. Instead all they lost was the audience.
THE ADVENTURES OF BARON MUNCHAUSEN
To be succinct–my favorite of Terry Gilliam’s films. Savaged for excess, this is a film where you literally spot something new every time you see it. Gilliam claims it completes a trilogy of humanity. Time Bandits is about youth, Brazil covers adulthood, and Adventures deals with old age–except that a major character in the film is a child, thus bringing the subject matter full circle.
Now Gilliam might just be blowing hot air here. For that matter, every time I find some additional bit of business or interpret a piece of dialogue, Gilliam might just laugh in my face if he heard and declare, just as the Baron says at one point, “No, no, completely wrong!”
Nevertheless, it’s rare that you see a film with so many layers that you can interpret it and reinterpret it upon each viewing. If nothing else, the final five minutes can spark a lot of lively debate along the lines of, “What the devil happened?”
Just as an aside, when I don’t have on old movies, I usually have on CNN, keeping track of what’s going on with the war. Keep in mind that when I first wrote of the war, nothing had happened yet and there was still hope of getting out of this thing without shots fired. Now, as I wait and wonder whether my relatives in Tel Aviv have been blown to kingdom come, I find myself reflecting that Vincent from Beauty and the Beast was correct and that Shakespeare truly did know everything. Why? Because my present feelings on the war are neatly summed up in Macbeth, Act I, Scene vii, lines 1 and 2.
What are those lines? Go look them up. What, I gotta do everything for you?
Peter David, writer of stuff, will be attending Wondercon, DixieTrek, I-Con, and a naming party for his new niece-in-law.
• 
Saving time for those less-familiar with the Bard, Macbeth I.vii 1-2 reads:
“If it were done when ’tis done, then ’twere well
It were done quickly…”
I seem to vaguely recall that when this column originally ran, Peter David got a lot of heat from folks who were trying to understand just what he was trying to say about the war, or who disagreed with what he was trying to say, or who disagreed with what they thought he was trying to say.
Now it’s years later, and war looms again, and Peter David is getting a lot of heat from folks from folks trying to understand just what he was trying to say about the war, or who disagree with what he’s trying to say, or who disagree with what they think he’s trying to say.
It ain’t just The Adventures of Baron Munchausen that’s coming full circle…
If it were done when ’tis done, then ’twere well It were done quickly; if the assassination Could trammel up the consequence, and catch With his surcease success; that but this blow Might be the be-all and the end-all here, But here, upon this bank and shoal of time, We’d jump the life to come. But in these cases We still have judgment here; that we but teach Bloody instructions, which, eing taught, return To plague the inventor; this even-handed justice Commends the ingredients of our poison’d chalice To our own lips.
Wow. With the references to Peter’s feelings about the war, I had to remind myself that this was an old column of Peter’s, and not a current one. I’m glad these columns are being archived here, because I’d like to read the columns that were not included in that But I Digress collection published some years ago. I’m wondering, for example, why this one wasn’t included in the section of that book containing Peter’s columns pertaining to Star Trek, even though it wasn’t devoted entirely to that movie.
Nice one, Peter.
I remember being captivated by the “surrender” scene too! Kirk’s emotions were highlighted wonderfully in III when he blew up the Enterprise and yet emoted over her just as much as David. Powerful stuff. Lastly, I’ll never forget the trailer for VI, when he practically shouted “WE SURRENDER!” Which totally freaked me out for weeks until I could see that one. Whew!
What can be done to bring that kinda punch to the TNG movies?: Nicholas Meyer…and Peter David.
And maybe Q too!
Shawn
So, am I the only one who (even at age 11 when the series premiered) was more interested in a captain who played mental games of chess with gods and won (not to mention, who could act) than in a captain whose solution to most problems was a blow to the stomach followed by a blow to the back of the neck and who couldn’t seem to keep the shuttle in the launch bay?
Sure, Kirk was an action hero, and he filled out the triangle with McCoy and Spock nicely, but Picard was always more mature.
Any chance that you could post the entire sketch as a blog entry? (I don’t know whether it ever appeared in full in BID.) I’d certainly like to read it, based on the snippets here.
**So, am I the only one who (even at age 11 when the series premiered) was more interested in a captain who played mental games of chess with gods and won (not to mention, who could act) than in a captain whose solution to most problems was a blow to the stomach followed by a blow to the back of the neck and who couldn’t seem to keep the shuttle in the launch bay?
Sure, Kirk was an action hero, and he filled out the triangle with McCoy and Spock nicely, but Picard was always more mature. **
More mature doesn’t necessarily mean more interesting. Picard became interersting over a few seasons, Kirk was interesting from the get go. And I think you’re being just a little unfair to Kirk, he to played games with gods and won, Kirk’s game was Poker not chess but the idea was the same. In any event Kirks solution to every problem was not just to punch someone in the stomach, that’s an oversimplification and a lack of understanding of the character. Kirk was also a more moral character then Picard ever was, if Kirk came upon something that he found morally reprehensible he would find a way to do something about it. Not so Picard, Picard is far more bound by the letter or the law then Kirk was. Kirk would find a way to use Starfleet regulations and the Prime Directive to work for him, Picard would very often use them as an excuse for why he couldn’t do anything. This makes Picard the better commander but it also makes Kirk the better hero. If I wanted to serve on a starship I’d want Picard as my captain, but if I needed someone to save the universe I’d feel much more comfortable if Kirk were around.
This makes Picard the better commander but it also makes Kirk the better hero.
That’s also why Kirk got busted in rank after attaining Admiral; if and when Picard becomes Admiral, he’d never get busted back down.
Chris
%%This makes Picard the better commander but it also makes Kirk the better hero.
That’s also why Kirk got busted in rank after attaining Admiral; if and when Picard becomes Admiral, he’d never get busted back down.**
Kirk wasn’t busted, he was rewarded. Starfleet gave him back the job he always wanted, the job he should have never left in the first place, as a reward for saving Earth. Kirk never wanted to be an Admiral and when he was he practically sleepwalked though life. (Kirk belongs to a long line of heroes who pass over promotions to stay where the action is). Picard OTOH would probably step into an Admiral posistion quite fine and do a good job of it. That makes him the better Starfleet officer but Kirk is still the better hero.
I second the wish for the entire script of the sketch. It sounds like a riot. It makes me wish I had been there, when it was performed. *sigh*
I was always into Picard.
But, then, he looks like my dad, so there you go.
PAD:
I’ve never read this BID installment before, and I must say: thank you! It’s so nice to know I’m not the only one who thinks “Popeye” is grossly underrated as a film. All the kind words you said (the baby’s perfect comic timing, the ingenious casting of Shelley Duvall, Williams’ ingenious cartoon-evoking mutterings) are things I’ve been saying about the film for years. For all that the film has its flaws, I’m amazed that so many of those positives you mentioned have been overlooked for years.
Regarding the negatives, while I certainly agree that the plot occasionally meanders and is sometimes bogged down in comedy routines that don’t work *quite* as well as they could have (though I have a feeling they didn’t bother me as much as they did you), I do want to say one thing about Harry Nilsson’s score: it’s not entirely his fault. Altman sliced his songs to shreds in the editing room, in some cases removing key parts of the orchestration, which resulted in some really banal musical moments. Your point is taken about the lack of any up-tempo numbers, but in some cases that wouldn’t have been so problematic had Altman not taken out aspects of the songs that enriched them.
Have you ever heard the soundtrack album? The album is, I believe, produced by Nilsson, and so the songs are more or less intact, and the difference between their album incarnation and the film arrangements are night and day with certain songs. (“Blow Me Down” for example, is beautiful on the record.) Tragically, it’s not available on CD (though I did transfer them from vinyl onto a blank CD about a year ago for my own enjoyment). The album version of “He Needs Me” also turns up — oddly enough — in Paul Thomas Anderson’s *Punch Drunk Love*, of all places, where it figures quite prominently into the film’s score.
The only other problem with Popeye, in my mind, is the somewhat anti-climactic ending. You spend the whole film just waiting for a huge spectacle when he finally eats the spinach, and what do we get… ? One punch to the Octopus puss, and Bluto runs away? To not end the film with a huge brawl between Popeye and Bluto was a terrible move in my estimation… but up to that moment, I still rate the film quite highly.
I thought that Popeye got positive reviews when it came out. It also made a profit, but wasn’t a blockbuster.
Did it? I guess I assumed it hadn’t because it’s not got much of a reputation now. As PAD said, it’s seems like it’s been kind of forgotten.
And I know I’ve read that Williams looks on it with some degree of embarrassment, which is too bad because he was so remarkable.
And I think you’re being just a little unfair to Kirk, he to played games with gods and won, Kirk’s game was Poker not chess but the idea was the same.
Actually, the only “god” I can recall Kirk actually clearly coming out on top with was Apollo, and even that was a bit questionable. More often than not, he ended up getting his butt pulled out of the fire by his crew or by other super-powered entities. Let’s take a look at the score card. (just off the top of my head)
Kirk vs. Trelane- Saved by Trelane’s parents
Kirk vs. Charlie X- Saved by Charlie’s caretakers
Kirk vs. “God”- saved by Spock and the Klingons
etc…
Now, don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against Kirk, per se. I just find somebody more intellectual and dramatic and fascinating than a bare-knuckles brawler. Besides, nobody’s mentioned Sisko, yet. He’s got the best of both and turns it up a notch or three.
>>Kirk never wanted to be an Admiral and when he was he practically sleepwalked though life. (Kirk belongs to a long line of heroes who pass over promotions to stay where the action is). Picard OTOH would probably step into an Admiral posistion quite fine and do a good job of it. That makes him the better Starfleet officer but Kirk is still the better hero.<<
Recall Kirk’s advice to Picard in Generations — “Don’t let them promote you.” Also, Picard was offered promotion before (Commandant of Starfleet Academy for one), and turned it down.
Kirk was more than just a bare-knuckles brawler. He was an intellectual and a darned good tactician. Remember “The Corbomite Manuever”?
He could also do a mean flying double-kick.