Day: November 17, 2004

In a shocking historical moment, one of the two Thanksgiving turkeys pardoned by President George W. Bush has turned in his resignation, preferring to die rather than be pardoned by someone who refused to pardon human beings in Texas. The turkey, “Biscuits,” was promptly drafted and is being shipped to Iraq.

The other turkey, “Gravy,” pledged eternal fealty to Bush and is considered front runner to the first available seat on the Supreme Court.

We’ll be stuffing more into this story as it develops.

PAD

Sears and K-Mart are going to be merging. The only reasonable thing to call the combined entity? Has to be “S-Mart.”

Shop Smart. Shop S-Mart.

I wonder if Bruce Campbell has gotten the call to be the new spokesman.

PAD