Day: January 6, 2006

From cloudeagle: Scattershot stuff:

* People tend to be much more forgiving when you ding their car, or transform it into a jagged, smoldering pile of scrap metal, if you’re 12 feet tall and green.

* With a hefty girder and the proper swing, you can grant a lucky soldier the enduring human dream of unassisted flight for 350 yards or so.

* A really big guy CAN run up the side of a building, but building manager will need the phone number of a trusty construction contractor handy for afterwards.

* Though throwing a boulder at a tank yields good results, throwing a cow at a tank doesn’t really do anything. (Note to self: try throwing the cow at a helicopter. Aim for the blades.)

* You know the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants? Who have heartwarming tales while sharing a pair of pants that makes the wearer’s butt look great no matter their body type? I think the Hulk’s a member of that. Because no matter what he or his alter ego Bruce Banner does — cause a smallish skyscraper to collapse around him, get hit by a rocket, gain 800 pounds in 10 seconds — his pants always look great. I wonder what heartwarming tales the Hulk could share?

Kudos to the Academy for selecting Jon Stewart to head up this year’s Oscars. I will go out on a limb and say that, far more than Letterman (whose Uma/Oprah thing was reviled mostly because people didn’t realize he was riffing an absolutely classic “New Yorker” essay called “Yma Dream”), Stewart is the late-night host who combines a sense of comedy and gravitas better than anyone since Johnny Carson. What a challenge. But I’m sure he’ll be up to it.

PAD