So I DID Include It!

Posted By: Peter DavidPosted On:

So a while back Jay Tea challenged me to include the phrase “earth-shattering ka-boom” into the Transformers novelization, and I agreed to take him up on it.

As is typical with me, I don’t retain knowledge of these sorts of things for lengthy periods of time. (People routinely thank me for putting their names into my books and I have no recollection of having done it.) So imagine my surprise when Jay showed up at Shore Leave, holding a specially commissioned (and quite marvelous, really) original drawing of an irritated Marvin the Martian waving a copy of the novelization and demanding to know why the phrase was MIA from the book. Chagrined, I told him I’d forgotten about it…which by that point in time, I had. But the more I thought about it, the more I started to wonder. So just now I went back to my original manuscript and ran a search. And lo and behold, I turned up this exchange between Sam and Carly:

“Good. So…what’s the plan? I mean, there is a plan, right?” she said in a hopeful voice. “Something beyond, ‘Mother of God, the Decepticons are coming, let’s get the hëll out of here.’”
“Yeah. There’s a plan. We’re going to the HQ for NEST.”
“The Nuclear Emergency Support Team?”
“No, not the…who?”
“The Nuclear Emergency Support Team. They’re part of the DOE. They’re ready to be dispatched anywhere in the world to deal with nuclear disasters. Are you saying the Decepticons are going to…to…”
“Explode with an earth-shattering kaboom? No, nothing like that,” he assured her.

So I did do it when I said I would! So now I’m thinking, how the hëll did Jay miss it? It was right there! I then went to the published novel and found the exchange which starts on page 129. And I turned to page 130.

And the entire DOE section of the conversation had been edited out, including the earth-shattering kaboom part.

Sorry, dude. I tried. Sometimes this is what happens when you put an in-joke into a licensed book; the licensors notice.

Thanks for the drawing, though.

PAD

16 comments on “So I DID Include It!”

  1. So, will this exchange be included in the extended edition (“director’s cut” of print) of the novelization? Maybe if there’s a comic book adaption it could be worked into that.

  2. Wait, “earth-shattering kaboom” comes with copyright privileges? Is that why that Get Smart movie used “kafrickin’ boom” instead?

  3. Hey, Peter, if you had included references to “coherent storytelling”, “characterization with depth”, and “loud, special effects extravaganzas that don’t deafen the audience”, do you think Michael Bay or the licensors would’ve removed those too? 🙂
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    .
    Me, I think they would’ve reacted to any one of the principles by which you write your well-crafted stories the way Superman reacts to kryptonite.
    .
    🙂

  4. Mr “D” on behalf of JayTee, I curse the editors who mauled and shredded your priceless pop culture references that only the intelligent ( or those raised on Buggs Bunny cartoons) would understand. Especilly since they were both under Warner brothers

    I say Intelligent because when he showed that poster of Marvin the Martian reimaged as the transfomer cosmo uttering the phrase ” There was supposed to be an Earth shattering KABOOM” she had tears of laughter. This way I can plug the work JT did, and compliment my wife, Just in case she reads this*

  5. Woo hoo! I wrote about this at my own blog, and just updated it:
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    http://wizbangblog.com/2011/07/11/an-earth-shattering-kaboom/
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    One detail I need to add: the actual drawing (by Matt Young) was just supposed to be “Marvin as a Transformer.” Matt, who knows these things far better than I do, modeled it after “Cosmo,” who apparently turns into a flying saucer. And it is, indeed, “quite marvelous.” I also just said “holding the book” — he added the accusing body language on his own. My idea, yes, but his brilliant execution. I seriously underpaid him.
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    There’s a copy of the image in my article, and if anyone wants a higher-quality JPEG, just ask me and I’ll be glad to provide.
    .
    J. (Doing the Numfar dance of joy)

    1. That’s sum gorgeous art right there *swoon*. But let me get this straight u gave PAD the art even though he was “blase” about it? Why even bother then?

      1. JC, the whole point of commissioning the artwork was to present it.
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        But now, though, I think this was the best possible outcome. Our host tried to honor my request, so I can claim that, and I had a cool idea for a drawing that came out even better than I could have hoped for. I have a PAD-autographed copy of the print. Finally, “my” line made it into Mystery Trekkie Theater 3000, so I got that, too. (Those license editors can’t stop EVERYTHING!)
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        All in all, I’m a very happy fanboy. Not to mention I got my copies of PAD’s Babylon 5 trilogy autographed for my retirement fund…
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        J.

  6. Pingback: An Earth-Shattering Kaboom! | Wizbang

  8. Do you think it might be, given Bay’s cashing himself out of the franchise,
    an earth-shattering kaboom might have been on the list of potential plans for the fourth film?
    I, for one, would love to see a Victoria’s Secret model up to her armpits in Martians. If they start a casting call for someone to voice of I. Q-35 Space-Modulator then we’ll know for sure.

  9. This doesn’t seem like the sort of thing that Hasbro would object to, given the vast number of references to anything and everything in the cartoons, comics, books, toys, etc, etc, etc.

    1. Luck of the draw. You never know what’s going to attract someone’s attention and raise an objection. For all I know, someone at Del Rey wanted it out. You never know.
      .
      PAD

  10. So the bit with ‘“Something beyond, ‘Mother of God, the Decepticons are coming, let’s get the hëll out of here.’”’ is gone too? That’s weak, cuz that line is pretty gold.

  11. Mildly off topic, but since this is the first time the novelization’s been mentioned in a while, was it a good enough experience that you’d be interested in working on TF again any time in the future (or, y’know, bad enough to make you swear them off forever (or possibly ‘meh’ enough to leave you apathetic about the whole deal))?

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