Holiday Gift Suggestions, 1995

digresssmlOriginally published November 24, 1995, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1149

And so, as the holidays—which, as we all know, is the time for peace on Earth, good will towards men, and escalating depression among the unmarried population—I once again embark on the belated job of attending to the CBG gift list.

Usually, I incorporate this into BID, and this year is no exception. So let’s see what we’ve got:

48 Years Ago Today

I was sitting in class in Demarest Elementary School. My teacher was called out of the room and we sat quietly waiting for her return. We heard her voice in the hallway, talking to the Principal. I wondered who was in trouble. Then the teacher walked back in and, looking utterly shaken, she informed us that President Kennedy had been shot and killed. I was terrified, not because of the notion that JFK was shot–I was seven years old and somehow the concept seemed very far away–but because our teacher was fighting back tears and wasn’t entirely succeeding. I had never in my life seen an adult cry. I thought that was something that only kids did; that when you grew up, you outgrew crying somehow.

I learned otherwise that day. When I came home, my mother was crying, and when my father got back in that evening, even his eyes looked red rimmed.

Adults cried. Who knew?

PAD

A new poll about Congress pegs approval rating at nine percent

That sounds pretty bad. Only nine percent of Americans believe in Congress.

I think that’s worth putting in perspective, though. It should be noted that, in various polls:

Thirty-four percent of Americans believe in ghosts. Forty eight believe in ESP. About one third believe in UFOs, and nineteen percent believe in the existence of witchcraft and spell casting.

Is there anything that people believe in LESS than Congress? Fortunately, yes. Only seven percent believe that Elvis is still alive (down from eleven percent in 2002). And five percent (all adults) swore that they saw a monster in their closet. There’s no available data as to how many believed they saw Elvis, or Congress, in their closet.

PAD