Doing Enough

Posted By: Peter DavidPosted On:

digresssmlOriginally published November 14, 1997, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1252

It’s never enough.

No matter how much one does for the fan base, it is absolutely never enough. Because for every thousand or so fans that you manage to satisfy, there’s going to be a 1001st who is going to decide that you haven’t fulfilled whatever standards he or she has set for you. And, even more dangerously, there’s a 1002nd who is going to take it upon him or herself to try and make your life miserable—just because he can. Just because he thinks that there’s some sort of satisfaction in “standing up” to the pro, or showing the pro that he or she is “no better” than anyone else.

Several cases in point:

A month or so ago, I was supposed to do a live chat on the Marvel board on America Online. And I completely forgot about it. Totally zoned. Got caught up in some fast-breaking events at home and spaced on my commitment. I felt terrible about it, because here the fans had gathered to listen to me (for some bizarre reason) and I hadn’t shown up. I do not like to disappoint fans.

In fact, one of my main reasons on getting on AOL was to make myself that much more accessible. I’ve even made no secret of my “name” on AOL, the consequence being that it seems as if every comic fan in Christendom has put my name on his or her “Buddy list.” Which means that, when I log on, I get pelted by instant messages (IMs). I will respond to these for as long as I can, but sometimes it becomes a real hassle, particularly if I’m trying to compose articles or mail. It’s like trying to write while someone keeps shouting in your ear; impossible to concentrate. And sometimes what I’ll do in those cases is simply shut off all incoming IMs.

Invariably, however, when I do that, every single person who’d been IMing me assumes that it’s personal. That I got sick of talking to him and him alone. Which means that I’ll then wind up with an e-mail box full of letters, with messages ranging from hurt feelings bordering on paranoia (“What did I say?”) to attitude (“Fine, don’t talk to me. See if I care.”) to outright belligerence (“I heard you didn’t care about fans, and now I know that’s true!”)

So—the live chat.

A second chat had been scheduled, and this time I didn’t want to take any chance that I was going to be late for it. Scheduled for “prime time” of 8 p.m. EST, it can sometimes be problematic getting online. So, to play it safe, I started my attempts at 7:45 and got on after five minutes of endeavor. I checked mail, fielded some IMs, and then popped over to the Marvel chat room. There were about thirty people waiting for me, and I was all set to discuss whatever they wanted to discuss.

And suddenly a blank IM (that is, an IM window with no words on it) appeared on the screen, sent by one of the people in the room (whose name I won’t dignify with publicizing here).

And then, just like that, an “Error” message flared into existence. The next thing I knew, I’d been thrown off of AOL.

Now, I didn’t think anything of it in particular. It happens occasionally; sometimes, for no apparent reason, AOL will disconnect you. However, this was particularly bad timing.

“Aw, great,” I said. I then worked on getting back online, and this time it took me ten minutes to do so. It was now 8:10 and I’d accomplished nothing.

I got back online, made my way back to the Marvel chat room. People were immediately happy to see me.

And then another blank IM came from the same fan.

And I was gone again. Catapulted right off AOL.

Ian Fleming wrote, in Goldfinger, that once is happenstance—twice is coincidence—and three times is enemy action. In this instance, however, I didn’t need a third time around. I knew exactly what had happened: This little creep had some kind of program built into his IMs that will disconnect victims from the board.

This time it took me fifteen minutes to log back on, and the moment I was back, the first thing I did was block all incoming IM s, so he couldn’t do it again. Then I re-entered the Marvel chat room, and I have never, never been that angry in “public.” I immediately informed everyone in the room of what this particular fan had done. The reactions ranged from disbelief to outright anger (although there were some who seemed more amused by it). The culprit immediately denied any wrong-doing, but not for a moment did I buy that. If nothing else, ever since I’d blocked out the IMs, I had remained securely in place online.

I informed the moderator, in no uncertain terms, that the chat would not proceed until the culprit had been banished from the chat room. I wanted him out, I wanted him gone. Actions have to have consequences. The little creep had wasted twenty-five minutes of my time, and kept his fellow fans hanging in limbo while I fought to get back on again. After a couple of minutes when I made it clear that I wasn’t going to change my mind on this, the culprit—protesting his innocence—was blocked out of the chat room.

I then stayed online about forty minutes, talking it up with the remaining fans, and trying to answer the barrage of questions as fast as I could.

The next day I logged onto AOL—and immediately I got an IM from the fan, shouting, “I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!” Instantly I blocked any further IMs, and literally caught his catapulting IM on screen before it could send the error message into my computer. I then tracked him down to the Marvel chat room—where he was busy boasting to the other fans that he’d thrown me off AOL the previous night. So much for any vague concern I might have that I’d acted in haste.

I subsequently filed an official complaint about him with AOL and I haven’t heard from him since. He might be there under another name, but at least he’s keeping his distance from me.

And then, of course, there are IM “bombs.”

One day I logged on—and suddenly, out of nowhere, the following IM appeared on my screen: “Die!” And it appeared again and again and again, over and over, completely consuming my entire screen. I couldn’t stop it, couldn’t find any way to shut it off. I jumped over to my e-mail to see if getting to another place on AOL would end the messages—and instead, I saw my e-mail box rapidly filling up with messages from the same person, each and every one with the same charming message. I later learned that this particular gift was called an IM bomb.

It appears that, no matter how impressive a creation, there will always be people whose first priority is to try to use it as a means of hurting people.

At this point, it’s frustrating, because I think I’m going to have to start blocking all IMs except from those handful of people that I know personally. Because I’ve heard rumors, for instance, that there’s an IM program that will enable the sender—if replied to directly—to discover what your password is. I don’t know first hand if it’s true or not, but I can’t take the chance. A service I joined for the purpose of talking to the fans, and I’m going to have to pull back from it so that the few idiots out there can’t use it to make my life miserable.

It’s never enough…

Then there was the fan who posted an angry message about George Takei, who had been a guest at a convention called Defcon 4. “I asked him for an autograph, and he was rude to me!” declared the fan.

I was at that convention. George embarked on an autographing session at about 5 p.m. I had a dinner date with him at the hotel restaurant at 8 p.m., because that’s when we’d been told that the autographing would wind up.

As of 8 p.m., the line was still huge. George had been promised that it would be only three hours long. But without hesitation, he declared that no one who was waiting on line was going to be cheated out of an autograph. Nine o’clock came and went; we didn’t get to the restaurant until 10 p.m. Five solid hours of signing, and he spent time talking to each and every fan, making all of them feel individual and special.

But this one fan, for whatever reason, wasn’t satisfied. Perhaps he tried to stop George while he was en route somewhere. Perhaps George had been told to confine autographs to the scheduled signing times. Didn’t matter.

Although it’s worth mentioning that, in the restaurant, word quickly spread among the staff that “Mr. Sulu” was dining there. Now I don’t know about you, but when I go to a restaurant, I usually see one waitress, one water guy or bus boy, and that’s pretty much it. At this restaurant, throughout the evening, somehow every single staffer managed to swing by the table, sometimes for the most hilariously obvious of reasons. My favorite was when we asked the waitress about the desserts, and she said—with sudden inspiration—”You know who likes to talk about desserts? The chef. He’s very proud of them.” And she runs into the kitchen and returns, thirty seconds later, with the chef. Yeah, sure. That happens a lot. Chefs always want to tell the customers first hand about the desserts.

At least, in that restaurant, everyone was happy. For one brief, shining moment—it was enough.

But usually it’s not.

(Peter David, writer of stuff, can be written to at Second Age, Inc., PO Box 239, Bayport, NY 11705. Next week: more “not enoughs.”)

 

30 comments on “Doing Enough”

  1. This seems like as good a place as any to say I was delighted to meet you at ComiCONN last weekend. Thanks for signing my books and taking a few minutes to chat.

      1. I still have a copy of of the first Sir Apropos book that PAD autographed for me some years ago at San Diego comic-con. A traeasured memory of meeting a pro, and one of the many reasons I want the publisher to continue the series. For some fans, it’s never enough, but I like to think that many of us recognize good treatment.

    2. But really, he could have autographed your books more legibly and spent just a few minutes more talking to you. Right? Right?

      (I kid, I kid)

  2. Sadly, John Gabriel’s Greater Internet Dickwad Theory (from Penny Arcade) which goes “normal person + anonyminity + audience = total dickwad” has been proved accurate time and time again, so I fear the sort of online obnoxiousness described by PAD will become more common among fans, not less. Sigh.

    1. I’ve often heard it as “f***wad” — which makes it an easier-to-remember acronymn — G.I.F.T.

  3. I remember going to dinner with an actor who had just appeared in a very well-known genre series, who was taking a filmmaking course at NYU. Since I’d interviewed him but we never met, I invited him to dinner in Midtown Manhattan at one of my favorite restaurants where I knew the food was great. Unfortunately, by the time we got there, there were no tables available so the manager asked if we wanted to have dinner in the bar, so we did. Our bartender/server immediately fell for the actor. We had free peanuts every five minutes. Free drinks. I’m sure we could have got free pie if we wanted it. I learned an important lesson that day: if you ever want great service in a restaurant, just bring along a hunky charismatic actor and bask in the peripheral glow!

  4. I’m not sure how you feel about threats online, PAD. But I’ve heard at least one radio guy say that it’s not death threats that scare him (although he reports them), but love letters and the like.

    But it’s great to see we’ve ‘evolved’ from “Die!” to “Die in a fire!”, right?

    1. I’m not sure how you feel about threats online, PAD.

      I think I’m rather safe in saying that I’m opposed to them.

      PAD

      1. Well, that much is obvious. 🙂

        But I’m wondering if you continued to report those over the years who made such threats, and what kind of responses you got to such efforts.

      2. I went after some guys who openly talked about physically assaulting me at a convention. They backed down in a hurry and whined that, gee Mr. David, what are you so huffy about, we weren’t serious. And there’s the occasional “die in a fire” which I never quite know how to take. Other than that, nothing much to worry about…or at least little I take seriously.

        PAD

  5. I just wanted to say that you’re one of the most accessible writers I’ve ever met. I have sent you emails of a few different occasions, and you have responded to every one.

    And I remember the IM bombs. I made the mistake of angering a girl who was very vengeful. She had all of her online friends with the capability sending me those IM bombs. Eventually I had to create a new screen name just so I could get on AOL.

  6. I’ll never be able to figure out the mindset of fans like that. Being able to meet someone who creates works that you enjoy and/or admire or talk to them is a privilege. It’s not a right. And these attitudes are made to look all the dumber when you think about the fact that most of the most demanding fans likely wouldn’t agree to surrender three to five hours of their day to talk to a bunch of strangers once every blue moon unless you put a gun to their head. Let alone doing something like that at least once a month, traveling far from home and family to do it and going to major conventions where there are tons of sights to see and things to enjoy with the foreknowledge that you’re going to trap yourself behind a table for dámņëd near half of the con and spend part of the time you’re not trapped there running from one end of the con to the other for panels that you’re on.

    Ask them to do all of that? Not likely. But they’ll demand all that and more from others.

    And George Takei was rude? Granted, I’ve only met the man once and for all of three minutes, but he certainly came off as anything but in my encounter. Of course, I’ve had the unparalleled joy of meeting Gary Busey and Scott Hall at conventions before, so at this point my sliding scale for grading rudeness or stark raving insanity by a convention celebrity may have been forever thrown way the hëll out of whack.

  7. The few times I’ve met you in person at con, PAD, you’ve always seemed harried yet polite.

    Still appreciate the fact that I was able to make you laugh by walking directly to you and exclaiming “RAKOVLAAM??”

  8. Truth told, PAD, you were the first pro I ever met at the first con I ever attended. After presenting the Marvel “coming attractions” slideshow, there were a bunch of us goofy teenagers with questions still, and you took the time to sit with us an talk comics for a good hour or so in the lobby. That forever set a pretty high bar for good con experiences, and you are among the many who have no difficulty meeting those expectations every time. And, you were part of my son’s first con experience at the ripe old age of six months. (Somewhere, I’ve got a picture of the three of us.) Thank you for many outstanding interactions online and in person.

    Mostly off topic, but speaking of online death threats…I’m wondering what – if anything – Cowboy Pete thinks of “The Newsroom.” Almost seems to me like it’s the show that Sorkin wanted “Studio 60” to be, and with a setup more appropriate to the material.

    –Daryl

  9. Peter, have you been having any major problems with people on Facebook or twitter?

    1. Not especially. I have a much shorter leash on my Facebook page than here: someone gives me šhìŧ, I just unfriend them. Done. They can rant about me on their own Facebook page all I want, but I don’t have to deal with it.

      PAD

  10. I have to say that the (many) times that I have asked PAD a question on Twitter he has replied on a polite manner, no matter how irrelevant the question may be (If he’d have responded to some of those with a ” google it, you moron”, it would have been well deserved, but he is much better than that). I just want to say that I appreciate it so much. You don’t know what your answers and comments mean to some of us, your fans and I hope that for every bad experience that you have on the Internet, you find a hundred good ones that make you want to continue to be in touch with us. Thank for being that way.

  11. I always find that person who always yells “So and So was rude to me,” to be totally idiotic.
    I ran into a famous person, whom I will not name, and I just said hi, and I liked his work.
    He wasn’t distasteful, but he wasn’t really nice either.
    But I understand. Famous people are, well, people. They have good days and bad days. He was having a bad day.
    I’ve met him since, and he was perfectly nice.
    I forget the exact wording of the Gaiman rule, but I paraphrase it… “Celebrities aren’t your bìŧçh.”

    Of course, that’s my opinion.
    TAC

  12. TAC and Michael, I might take a small exception to your use of the Gaiman rule, which as I recall was a reference to the number of fans who were giving George Martin a hard time about when the next Games of Thrones book was coming out. The implication was that if the fans were waiting with crossed arms for the next book, Martin should not work on any other projects until that book was done. Writ large, Gaiman’s thesis was that just because the fans demanded something, be it another Game of Thrones book or American Gods II, they’re not entitled to it simply because they want it. While I suppose part of that might apply to writers or other ‘celebrities’ appearing at conventions in that those guests are not on call the entire time they’re there, there should be a certain MINIMAL responsibility in terms of their presence. If that means a panel followed by an autograph session, that’s fine. If the guest wants to hang out in the bar for an hour and chat with the fans, that’s fine too. It does not mean interruptin the guest when he’s in the bathroom, having amuch-deserved dinner or any other circumstance that involves a bit of personal space. There is always a small number of fans that lack the minimal amount of social skills, who believe they are entitled to approach a guest whenever and wherever they see them, so in a sense, the Gaiman rule could be extended to them. I’m just pointing out that I don’t think it’s what Neil was saying in his initial blog. Perhaps a follow-up, entitled ‘George R.R. Martin is not your your convention bìŧçh?’

  13. Point taken. I remember when you were having this discussion months ago. I don’t think I read the final document at the time, although I now have from your link.

  14. Off topic, but boy would I like to hear your thoughts, as one of the foremost analysts of the man over the years, on Rob Liefeld’s ongoing epic Twitter meltdown, where he seems determined to go after virtually every professional in the industry. It makes me wonder what would have happened if Twitter existed at the time of Image’s launch…

      1. His hitlist, in the past few days, has consisted DC upper management, several of the editors on his DC books (all of which he has quit), his artist Scott Clark, Ann Nocenti, Tom Brevoort, Batman writer Scott Snyder, and possibly more. In some cases hitting them with really over the top, ad hominem attacks (eg; calling Tom a “loser fat ášš” for responding with trepidation when asked if he would work with Rob now that he’s left DC). It’s pretty stunning, I don’t even remember him being this bad back in the early Image days.

  15. I’ve met PAD a few times (at I-CON, at a signing at Jim Hanley’s Universe, doing a book reading at Borders), and I’ve always found him friendly, intelligent, and quick to laugh. (I cracked him up with FUTURAMA’s “Soylent Cola” bit.) Online, he’s also been those things as well. Oddly, something that impresses me the most about him is that we can disagree — and not change each other’s minds — but it’s never degenerated into insults or mindless repetition. So if you treat PAD with respect, you’ll get it back. (Actually, that’s a pretty good way to behave in general.)

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