Governor: allow me to warn you off a particular direction that your advisors seem to be taking you, as per the New York Times. According to the newspaper of record:
Mr. Romney’s team has concluded that debates are about creating moments and has equipped him with a series of zingers that he has memorized and has been practicing on aides since August.
Please don’t do this. I mean, yes, I want to see you crash and burn in the elections, but I also have a fundamental sense of decency.
Do not do this to yourself.
You’re not funny.
Your aides claim that you have a dry wit. No. Jack Benny had a dry wit. You are a modern day Jack Benny in the sense that in modern day, Jack Benny is dead.
I know the temptation is great to aim for the sound bite audience. After all, most Americans are ADD when it comes to serious political topics and have a much easier time wrapping what passes for their brains around jokes, quips, and memorable bon mots. And you probably figure that Obama is a stiff and thus an easy target. I think that’s a serious miscalculation. Obama was able to crack jokes about bin Laden at the same time that he was dispatching Seal Team Six to cap him. Obama is funny in the clutch; you’re funny as a crutch.
In my opinion, the absolute worst thing you can do is go into the debates under the impression that you’re going to be a conservative pundit a la Stephen Colbert. Governor, I’ve met Stephen Colbert. I’ve watched Stephen Colbert. Stephen Colbert is an acquaintance of mine. You,sir, are no Stephen Colbert.
PAD
Originally published January 30, 1998, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1263
• 
Recent Comments