As my nine year old daughter gets older, she craves more freedom at conventions. Even large ones like Dragon*Con. If she needs to go to the rest room and it’s across the hall, she doesn’t want to feel she needs to be escorted. If I’ve a table in artist’s alley, which is a completely contained area with guards at the exits, she wants to be able to walk around without my holding her hand. Think of it as monitored independence.
But she thinks ahead.
When we were getting her her badge for Dragon*Con, she insisted on a name other than her own on the badge. Not a gaming or character name, but just a simple, ordinary girl’s name that wasn’t hers.
“Why?” said my wife.
“Because,” replied my daughter, “if I’m walking around and someone runs up to me and tells me you sent them, and they call me by the fake name on the badge, I know they’re bad people.”
I think that’s freaking brilliant for ANY parent who has a youngster of any age at the convention. The broader rule is that dressing your kids in clothing that has their name on it is a risky proposition. But convention badges is another good place to avoid ID’ing your child or, even better, mis-IDing her to red flag anyone with bad intentions.
PAD
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I think that’s an excellent idea. I haven’t taken my kids to a big con yet, so this other thought that I have might already be in practice; I’m not sure. However, when you take your kids to bounce/jump places, the locales near us give a bracelet to each parent and each kid with numbers that match up (typically a series of numbers and letters that the computer pops out). An adult can’t leave with the kid if they don’t have the proper number; could that not also be applied to badges? Every bit helps, I’d think.
Brilliant kid! I will use this tip in the future.
It certainly shows intelligence and initiative on her part.
It also shows how pervasive the culture of fear is in this country.
According to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, and average of 110 children are kidnapped by strangers every year. However, more than 200,000 are taken by non-custodial parents, other family members, family “friends”, or other people the kids already know. “Stranger Danger” is officially labelled as a myth on their website, http://www.missingkids.com.
I suspect that being the child of an industry celebrity probably puts her at a greater risk than the average child.
And there’s always the risk that one of Todd McFarlane’s kids will see her and challenge her to a debate.
Another good idea: Snap a picture of your child before you head out for the day so that if you get separated, you have a visual record of exactly what s/he looks like and what s/he was wearing to show to people.
Holy crap, she’s a genius. Watch out world. Seriously, that’s pretty impressive.
Just got to read this..and I have to agree!
It’s a good concept; one that could work better if the con staff were in on it; Con security/desk people etc are pretty likely to read and use the name on the badge when helping a kid (which could cause a scare)
It’s a really nice idea – but there are other issues as well. This causes identification problems for con workers, if the child should be trouble-making. And while no parent wants to think *THEIR* specific child is the trouble-maker, some of them are. Perhaps the back of the ID could have a QR linking to a password-protected website for the organizers to get correct info, including things like contact info for the child? Really nice idea, but it could use a bit of thinking on.
No. I’m sorry, Tara, but it doesn’t.
I fully understand that there are three imperatives hardwired into human DNA: Survival; procreation; rewriting other people’s stuff. There’s not an idea in the world that can’t be “what if”d to death.
But whatever downsides that people can cook up pale in comparison to the simple concern for a child’s safety.
PAD
You can be as concerned as you want about keeping your child safe from others. But some of us put a little thought into keeping others safe from your child. You sound very much like the parent who is the bane of teachers everywhere – the one who is convinced “my child wouldn’t do that.”
Every problem has a simple solution, until you start applying real world constraints to it.
Not necessarily, as long as the parents and con staff know which alias she’s using.
Sorry to be unclear: As long as she’s not evading her parents or con staff with the fake name, it wouldn’t necessarily help her get away with anything.
Oh, I want to get in on overthinking this! What if the people don’t have a phone to check the QR? Are the cons going to supply volunteers with phones/ipods/whachamacallits?
Also, you’re implying that it’s possible to get wireless internet at a major con, which is not going to happen. Although if you got every volunteer a satellite phone….
Good little thinker there. The Force is strong with that one.
Maybe we should ask her where that planet that makes all the clones is hidden.
That is a good idea. We had a code word with Brandy growing up and now use it our granddaughter. The only people that knew it were HW, Brandy, me and the person picking her up.
Peter, if you or your wife came up with that idea I would have been impressed. The fact that it was your daughter is amazing.
We always told our kids that if we ever sent someone to pick them up there would be a code word. Nothing overly dramatic (although they kind of enjoyed the idea of having a secret). But if someone, even someone they know, says “Your parents sent me to get you.” they’d better follow it up with “And they said to tell you ‘elephant’.” or they’d find our kids unwilling to go.
I have the same problem with my 9 year old, Jane, but I always worry about doing things like that with her because if I need a security guard to find her or the police are looking for her I rather she has something to ID her. I write my booth number and phone number on the badges, and Jane and I have set up a password system. Should I really send a stranger to look for her, he/she will have to have the password. Otherwise, if they can’t then she has to come right back to the booth.
I have been tempted though to get her a Verizon pay-per-use cellphone. They get great coverage. She’d get to use it just for conventions.
Former camp director mode on…
It’s not a bad idea per se, and the fact Caroline came up with it is amazing. However, there are downsides to it if the con staff is not prepared to handle it (those points were made above quite well – I will not reiterate)
The ‘codeword’ approach is generally considered better for kids of her age, as its effectively unhackable unless the kid reveals it plus there are no obvious visual clues. The codeword should be easy to remember and not related to anything the child(ren) is/are wearing. In my camping days, the codeword was always the full name of a non-senior staff member not on the trip.
Sharp little kid she is.
Congrats
Brilliant idea!
Also, good cons should be able to handle the different age groups vs. level of autonomy. For example, this year’s WorldCon had one badge ribbon color to show “must be accompanied” versus another color which showed “free to come and go.” And, both had to be signed in, initially, to capture parental/guardian info in case of need.
Your daughter is very sharp.
Here’s a secondary measure to add to hers. When my kids were little, we had a password system. If somebody came up to my daughter and said “your dad sent me to pick you up,” she would have responded “what’s the password?” If the person didn’t respond “Marvin the Martian” (or whatever) she would walk away immediately. That way, I could have a friend pick her up if I needed to. Since the majority of crimes against children are committed by people the kid knows and trusts, this added a layer of prevention.
Our kids have “Kitties” that they take everywhere with them. Thanks to my cousin almost loosing her Q-Bear in London I made sure that they wear “collars” and have dog tags with the stuffed toys name and my cell phone number. That way if we ever loose the toy while traveling, someone who finds it can return it to us.
Although we never had that problem at Dragon*Con because every time one of them would fall out of the stroller we had someone running up to us with it yelling “You lost a Lovey!!!” I love the people at Dragon*Con.
Brilliant idea!
Also, good cons should be able to handle the different age groups vs. level of autonomy. For example, this year’s WorldCon had one badge ribbon color to show “must be accompanied” versus another color which showed “free to come and go.” And, both had to be signed in, initially, to capture parental/guardian info in case of need.
I find it hard to believe a con wouldn’t be prepared to deal with a fake name since they deal with them all the time.
Badges with just a given name and no surname are common, as are badges with gaming names, or other pseudonyms. I suspect for attendees of all ages. How could using a “real-sounding” fake name be any more confusing for con workers than using a “fake-sounding” fake name?
Every con I’ve been to badges are numbered. I’ve always assumed the con had a master list connecting number to real name of attendee in case there was any need to identify the attendee.
As long as it’s an adult, or a child with adults, it’s easy enough. If the badge has a number that’s in a database that can be checked, cool too.
Since the object of the exercise is to not have the con workers scar children wearing the badges with fake names, the con staff have to know not to approach (for example) an obviously lost kid and call them by the name on the badge (because using the name is the ‘danger’ signal of the whole plan).
Clearer now ?
Still a clever idea, just has a few details to be worked out.
Yeah, we have the code word thing too. The point is that she thought of this on her own.
Furthermore, you’re conflating entirely different situations. Caroline’s idea was designed to deal with a specific situation: people coming up to her and claiming that their parents sent them (or, for that matter, presenting themselves as an old friend: “Well, well, it’s (fake name) I haven’t seen you since you were way little! Hey, come with me, I want to show you something.”
This is lightyears away from a concerned individual, with clear staff markings on their shirt or badge, coming up and saying, “Are you okay (fake name)? You look lost and I was concerned. Do you know where your parents are?”
Basically we’ve got a 9 year old with a clear, simple view to help provide a safeguard against obvious liars and in response we’ve got a bunch of adults who are overthinking it.
PAD
The kid’s got it worked out perfectly, particularly for Dragon*Con, where they have the real name on the badge under what you want to be called. What you want to be called is in humongous letters, with the real name subtly under it. If she makes the badge so it tells everyone she wants to be called “Carrie,” and someone calls her Carrie, she knows there’s a problem. If it’s a legitimate staffer, there is the real ID information to go find PAD. (Who, presumably, won’t call her Carrie, unless he’s been replaced by a pod person. Or a PAD person.) Besides, there’s Atlanta Police all over the frigging place outside the convention buildings. (Something about providing security for what is, essentially, a small city of nerds. Including me this year.) A real staffer, again, would presumably have no problem getting an officer to help with a lost frightened child. Seriously, the hypothetical problems you’re worrying about are far less likely than the very real danger that the nine year old solved on her own.
That is really a great idea. That’s one smart little girl you have there.
I have no idea why people are obsessing about, “What about the staff? What about the staff?”
What ABOUT the staff? The whole purpose is to provide protection for the child should she be approached by someone whom she does not know and has no business approaching her. If she HERSELF were in trouble–if she were lost, for instance–she would know to approach a staff member, easily ID’d by a t-shirt or badge–and say, “Hi, my name is Caroline, and I have a problem.”
The ONLY issue is if she faints dead away and they have to get help. The odds of that are insanely slim, and easily mitigated by the fact that most conventions have badge names/numbers crosschecked on their membership lists.
Honestly, can we just not, for once, pick apart an idea to death?
PAD
Won’t someone think of the
con workers… children.And maybe you could have treated it as a teachable moment – that ideas are great things, but it takes work to make them something useful. It’s not like you don’t have editors going over your ideas for continuity, grammar, spelling, punctuation, and the like.
Nobody here’s said it’s a *bad* idea. Just that it’s not a *perfect* idea.
And maybe you could have treated it as a teachable moment –
But I think his daughter is far, far too young for a beer summit.
And I believe the point being made here, Tara, is . . . WHY does it have to be a perfect idea?
WHY is this anecdote about PADs intelligent little daughter insufficient as simply a cute story and a pretty good parental security recommendation? WHY must it become a negative critical analysis of an otherwise perfectly suitable safety protocol, cleverly thought up by a 9 year old no less? WHY have you taken this opportunity to rudely and self-righteously point out how flawed this idea is, and how PAD should have used this as a teaching moment to deflate his daughters smart idea by shooting all kinds of holes in it, ‘cuz darn it, think of the staff, and PAD’s just the worst kind of parent who thinks his child is a perfect angel who can do no wrong (and honestly, I’m not sure HOW you got from the original premise of the story to that conclusion, but by gum, you pulled it off).
WHY was all that necessary? I mean, I’m pretty sure I completely understood the point of PAD’s post here. What was yours?
Because his rating of the idea is strictly one-sided, that it’s this wonderful idea for the safety of the kid. And while the safety of the kid is a very important goal, there are *other* effects of this plan that need consideration.
“But whatever downsides that people can cook up pale in comparison to the simple concern for a child’s safety.”
In other words, f’ the rest of the world, I’ve got mine.
But whatever downsides that people can cook up pale in comparison to the simple concern for a child’s safety.
In other words, f’ the rest of the world, I’ve got mine.
I’m not sure that’s really a fair summary of what PAD actually wrote, but I’m game, I’ll adopt that position. I will defend the proposition that a child’s safety is of such overriding importance, that a good solution to that problem trumps all other difficulties. SO if you come up with an alternative that addresses the safety concerns as well as this one, as well as addresses your concerns, then awesome, let’s do that. But in the meantime, can we please just join in PAD’s pride that the 9-year-old came up with something this clever to address a problem that important?!
A teachable moment. Seriously.
“Well, honey, that’s a great idea, but obviously you haven’t thought this through. What if, at some point, you’re causing trouble and the con staff isn’t able to identify you because you have a fake name? What if you collapse and they don’t know who you are? What if you’re actually IN trouble but you’re too stupid to tell a con staffer that?”
Yeah, I think I’ll do that. And while I’m at it, I’ll be sure to line up a therapist for her so she’ll have someone to vent to about her father who tells her how limited, short sighted, and F U to the world her ideas are.
Christ.
How about I make this a teachable moment, Tara: When a proud father puts forward what he thinks is a great suggestion by his child, you know what you do? You say, “Wow! Your kid’s really smart!” If you think it’s stupid, you zip your lip. If it poses a problem for you, don’t do it. But you don’t start picking it apart or displaying how you, with your big adult brain, can improve upon it. Just like if someone shows you a picture of his baby: You say, “Gorgeous!” You don’t put forward notions as to how to bring the idea to committee and improve upon it, just like you don’t look at the picture and say, “You know, five months may be unusual to consider plastic surgery, but have you thought about the long term ramifications of your kid’s nose.”
Okay? You clear where I’m coming from on this?
PAD
Tara, it’s a good idea.
Period.
End of story.
She came up with an idea to foil strangers pulling the “You’re mom and dad sent me to get you.” type of scenario. In that scenario, it works.
everything else you’ve brought up not only does not invalidate that, but some of the stuff brought up here as a “problem” isn’t a problem.
Let’s say she tags the name on the badge as Jenny Haniver. She gets wonked in the head and knocked out by a cosplay guy in a ten foot Transformer costume. They need to find the parents of “Jenny Haniver” in the building. If they announce it, her parents are going to know the name that she’s using and check to see if it’s her or not. If they check the badge number to look up registration info, they get a real name and maybe a contact cell phone number.
And there are other options to add in as well for some parents who like the idea. My son was with me at all times during the 2011 Dragon*Con (being that he was all of four) and holding my hand for most of that time. Despite that, we put a SafetyTat on his chest and on his upper arm. The tats were covered by the outfits he wore, but they were placed in areas where they would be exposed by anybody having to do emergency medical procedures on a child. They had his name, important medical issues and allergy info on them. When I told Jenn about this post of Peter’s, she liked the idea and we discussed combining what we were already doing with the kids with Peter’s daughter’s idea. since SafetyTats are fairly popular, we’re likely not the only parents who thought of that.
And she’s not looking to con convention staff. If she gets turned around, she’s not likely to turn down the help of staff if not actually seek it out. And if some kid, any kid, decides to use the fake name to try to get away with being a trouble maker, well, I covered that above. Some kid gets snatched by convention staff because they thought that their anonymity would let them get away with it, the staff are still going to track down the parents. Again, if they broadcast the name, the parents know the fake name and should respond. If they look up the registration info, again, they get the real names and maybe a contact number.
It was a dámņëd smart idea to deal with a specific issue and most of the “what if” scenarios being thrown around don’t change that. And they have even less ability to detract from the idea when the “what if” scenarios don’t really hold that much water when given more than a few moments thought.
Tara, are you by any chance a government bureaucrat?
I sometimes make my own custom birthday cards for my nieces and nephews, that feature conceptual illustrations pertaining to the gift or some other aspect of the recipient’s personality, and wanted to know if I should run them past you to see if there are any problems with them. Y’know, just suck the life out of the endeavor. 🙂
PAD, you need to get some Wile E. Coyote business cards and insert Caroline’s name. That kid is going very, very far.
Props to Caroline! What a great idea.
Good job Caroline! I’m totally stealing the idea and the code words idea for when my little one is old enough to exercise some independence.
Kudos to Caroline!
I agree whole-heartedly with her suggestion. This is the sort of thing that shows a bit of forward thinking.
To be on the safe side of things, I’d incorporate a couple of extra “code-words” into the deal so the child will understand the level of urgency if necessary should a parent have to send someone else to get the child. Children can be willfully stubborn ~ but ~ if they hear a particular word that they know if they ignore, they’re gonna get it when their parents catch up to them. It’s a system that my sister and her husband use with their kids. No problems thus far.
This is a really clever idea. My wife won’t wear shirts or jackets with her name on it because she doesn’t want someone reading it and calling her by name if she doesn’t know them. It puts you off guard and, while most people are fine…
As to the problem suggested about knowing “who did it”, the person above who thought this was a problem is the one who isn’t thinking things through. Most conventions — not all, but most — who issue badges with “badge names” (character names, names you attend cons under, etc.) keep a record of who has what name on their badge. If someone “acts up”, they can track the badge name back to the actual person just as easily as looking them up by their real name. It doesn’t matter if John Smith has Bob Jones or Smergle the Annilator on their badge. It isn’t an issue.
And they say genes don’t matter.