Originally published October 11, 1996, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1195
I think I finally understand Rob Liefeld. Which is cold comfort I suppose, considering the last couple of weeks he’s been having, but there it is.
Several things crystallized this newly-found comprehension for me.
We took Caroline to see “The Phantom Menace” in 3D yesterday. She’d seen the commercials for it a few weeks ago and said she wanted to see it; we then insisted she watch what we consider the real “first three movies,” namely episodes 4, 5 and 6. She did so with some reluctance and found them enjoyable in her own way, as I mentioned in an earlier posting.
So we were most interested to see how she would react to a “Star Wars” film that she had not first seen parodied on “Family Guy.” One that is generally reviled as being boring, turgid, poorly acted, badly written, badly directed, and the debut of a character so detested that he actually made people nostalgic for the Ewoks (no small feat, that.)
Personally, watching the film yesterday–the first time I’ve seen it in its entirety since it premiered years ago–I found it as dissatisfying as ever, with 3D effects that were lackluster at best. Even the pod race, which should have rocked in 3D, was unimpressive.
So what did Caroline think of it?
Through this business, we do everything we can to spread the good word of our faith. Not everyone who works here is actually OF my faith, but they’re good, solid clerical people, or janitorial staff, or accountants, so it’s not an issue.
But I have a serious problem with the thought of them undergoing any surgical procedures. See, I am adamantly against blood transfusions of any sort. And although my faith does allow for blood substitutes to be used, I’m concerned that that might not always be an option, or worse, they’ll be unconscious and unable to reject plasma in a trauma situation. Furthermore, although some of the other witnesses find it acceptable, I reject the concept of transplanting of organs. It is against scripture and God’s will.
Therefore, based upon my faith, I refuse to support any insurance coverage that would allow for surgery of any kind. And since other owners of faith-based businesses are being allowed to follow their conscience in terms of what medical coverage they offer, then I should be allowed to as well.
Thank you for your attention.
Skippy the Jehovah’s Witness
(Because if conservatives get to speculate that gay marriage will lead to men marrying German Shepherds, I get to speculate that faith-dictated laws and policies lead to a strangulation of individual choice based upon theology.)
Obama is reportedly backing off on the declaration that insurance coverage will be provided for birth control. Boehner does some sabre-rattling and Obama folds like a cheap card table. Because of course the desires of the church trump the desires of American women.
You know what Obama should have said? “Fine. The church gets to decide who gets compensated for birth control as soon as they give up their non-profit status.”
People can like Obama or hate Obama, but you know what they love?
Guts.
PAD
Originally published October 4, 1996, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1194
So there was Tom DeFalco, on his way back from a convention, passing through the security check at the airport and thinking—no doubt—about a nice, peaceful trip home.
But the security personnel stopped, did a double take as the x-ray of his bag passed through, looked at Tom, looked back at the bag. With a forced smile, one of them said, “Sir, do you have anything in your bag that resembles a gun?”
DeFalco, quick on the uptake, promptly responded, “Wha—?”
They promptly escorted Tom to one side, retrieved his suitcase, and emptied out the entire contents. And there, nestled in with the rather innocuous things in the bag, was a piece of cardboard cut into the shape of a gun—with aluminum foil wrapped around it.
And while a flustered DeFalco was grilled, a wide-eyed, innocent-faced Mark Gruenwald stood off to one side, looking shocked and appalled over the incident.
I mean, I’ve said jokingly that it’s going to be Santorum’s turn soon, but I didn’t really mean it. The “Oh look, something shiny!” attention span of GOP voters is now bordering on the pathological. For the first time that I can recall, the GOP is starting to come across as unfocused and disorganized as, well, the Democrats. It’s like herding cats, except with nuclear launch codes instead of tuna fish as the reward.
You know what I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised to see? They get to the convention with no nominee, no clear consensus, and Chris Christie walks in and says, “You know what? You’re all idiots. I’ve decided I’m in.” And he walks out as the nominee.
PAD
Originally published September 27, 1996, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1193
I’ll tell you, I’m sick of people complaining about the level of writing in comics. Stop complaining, folks: Instead, go out and do something about it. Blow off some steam. How? By writing some yourself.
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