We Regret the Error

Originally published November 23, 2001, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1462

Assorted things…

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When one does a column of this nature, week in, week out, it is inevitable that little inaccuracies are going to slip in. Since we like to keep things above board here at But I Digress, it behooves us to correct some mistakes that have slipped through. Granted, I do have a crack research staff, but since—as per their field of interest—they spend most of their time on crack, naturally they’re of very limited help. So it falls to me to make things right.

For starters:

In my review of Smallville, I stated that I was underwhelmed by the performance of Cynthia Ettinger as Ma Kent. While I had no problem with the actress herself, my feeling was that she was simply miscast as Ma, lacking the “homespun charm” that others in the role had conveyed. Fans immediately pounced upon this statement, announcing that I had gotten it wrong because Ma Kent had been played by Annette O’Toole.

Well, yes and no.

See, considering that my review came out about the same time as the show debuted, it should have been obvious that I was working off an advance tape of the pilot episode I’d been sent. Indeed I was. And a nice press packet accompanied the tape. Except the tape I’d been sent featured the work of Ms. Ettinger, and all the press material said “Cynthia Ettinger.” Now I’d heard that Annette O’Toole was going to be playing Martha Kent, but faced with material to the contrary, I shrugged and figured that she’d been recast.

Turned out to have been the other way around. The material I’d been sent was apparently out of date, and the producers had come to the same conclusion that I had about the Kents. So exit Cynthia Ettinger, hello Annette O’Toole. But since I didn’t watch the Smallville broadcast (having already seen the tape) I didn’t know that. I will say that Schneider, at least in the second episode (which I have seen) looks like he has different makeup and is coming across a lot more corn-fed than in the tape I saw, so it appears that my only acting gripe with the series has been attended to.

Although I notice that a lot of fans seem to be griping that the twenty-four-year-old Tom Welling is obviously not fifteen years of age, as Clark is supposed to be. He looks far too big, far too strapping to be a teen, much less an uncertain and gawky one. Me, I have no trouble with it. First of all: He’s supposed to be a young Superman, for crying out loud. Why shouldn’t he be a rather strapping individual? Remember how Chris Reeve stooped to conquer our disbelief that glasses could serve as a disguise? As to why such a hunky example of manhood would be thought of as a dork rather than being the most popular guy in school, that’s also easily surmised. Clark’s abilities are only now coming to the fore, so we can assume that he’s had a fairly recent, and comprehensive, growth spurt. He could very easily have been somewhat nerdy before this happened to him, and what’s happening to him now would only serve to make him more uncomfortable inside his own body. Granted, it wasn’t spelled out in the show, but do we really have to have the difficulties of teen years spelled out for us? The abrupt bodily changes, the social isolation and being a misfit, and, y’know, girls always said they never had time for me, and I hated it and…

Ahem.

Sorry. Got off track there. At any rate, that’s why the review discussed Cynthia Ettinger rather than Annette O’Toole. But I Digress regrets the error.

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A number of fans inquired as to why I had not been asked to contribute to the Marvel Heroes one shot. In point of fact, I had been. But at the time the request came in, I had just written two columns about the World Trade Center and was feeling a little wrung out on the subject. So I didn’t want to write another essay. It was suggested I come up with a concept for artwork. I didn’t think artists needed me to say, “Do a picture of brave firemen rescuing people,” so I tried to come up with something different. What I finally arrived at was the following notion: Since at the time the greatest need was for blood, I envisioned Dracula at a blood bank, donating blood. In the background would be a nurse saying to a puzzled doctor, “All he said was, ‘In the face of evil far greater than my own, I felt it was time to give something back.’” Both Marvel and the artist I wanted to have do it felt uncomfortable with it. I think they thought I was trying to make light of the subject. I wasn’t. I was just trying to underscore how all our previous definitions of evil went out the window on September 11, and how fiction pales beside fact. Still, it’s entirely possible people wouldn’t have read it that way and just thought I was trying to be funny.

In any event, I did write an issue of Young Justice, issue #43, that is obviously inspired by the events of 9/11. If retailers or DC wanted to donate a portion of the proceeds from that issue to the World Trade Center Fund or the Red Cross or something, that’d be nice.

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In that same Smallville column, actor Nicolas Cage’s name was spelled “Nicholas.” But I Digress regrets the error and apologizes to Mr. Caige.

Also, several weeks ago I inadvertently sent the wrong column attachment to CBG, resulting in a column that I’d written about the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund, and which had already run less than a year ago, being run again. It’s the first time there’s ever been a “rerun” in the column. But I Digress regrets the error. What we regret even more is that absolutely no readers seemed to notice.

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I was asked to write—and I did—an introduction for the next trade paperback collection of The Adventures of Barry Ween, Boy Genius. This is a wonderfully demented series, and if you’re not reading it—and profanity doesn’t bother you—then you really should be.

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In an earlier column, I reported that it had been confirmed that Bill Jemas was the anti-Christ. It turns out that this was merely an ugly rumor and, in fact, and confirmation is still pending. It had also been reported that DC was going to be responding to Marvel’s “Nuff said” month by declaring February to be DC “Groundhog’s Day Month,” in which the only comic to be published that month would be fifty seven different editions of Green Arrow #1. This turns out to be inaccurate; we should have said Green Arrow #2, which is much harder to get. But I Digress regrets the error.

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Last Wednesday on my bowling night, I missed an easy 5-pin spare that I should have picked up, thus costing my team the game. I twisted my wrist at the last moment too sharply and the ball curved, just missing the pin. Also, two weeks ago I accidentally went through a stop sign that was brand new, but I should have seen it. Fortunately it was 2 AM, so no one was around or hurt. Still, But I Digress regrets the error.

Peter David, writer of stuff, can be written to at Second Age, Inc., PO Box 239, Bayport, NY 11705.