Freak Out Friday – December 28, 2018

There is much we could talk about. Trump’s declaring that the government shutdown that he swore in front of the world he would take sole responsibility for is actually the fault of those dámņëd Democrats. Trump going overseas to surprise the troops, only to put the faces of Navy SEALS up on Twitter in a flagrant violation of the customary blurring of their features so they can maintain anonymity. The hundreds of thousands of people who are currently out of work with no assurance of when they will be able to return to their jobs.

But instead I’m going to discuss something family related. Trust me, it’s relevant.

A Rare Cowboy Peter Review for Aquaman

When Zack Snyder put a picture of Jason Momoa as Aquaman up on Twitter several years ago, modern day fans expressed confusion. “That doesn’t look anything like Aquaman!” they complained. The older fans immediately weighed in, stating emphatically, “No, that’s Peter David’s Aquaman.”

I’ve written a number of characters and put my own spin on them, but unless you’re looking at a picture of the Hulk wearing a business suit, there is no other character so clearly identified with me as a badass Aquaman with long hair and a beard. It’s so obvious a connection that DC not only invited me out to the premiere, but my name appears in the “Special Thanks” section in the credits. So basically everyone, up to and including the publisher, acknowledges that the version on the screen is my guy. (I fully expect he’ll lose a hand in the sequel.)

Consequently, I have to admit that I’m holding it to a higher standard than I do most comic book movies, or indeed most movies. I have a personal stake in this. Indeed, at the pre-party that I attended, Geoff Johns—who cowrote the story and was a producer on the film—came over and told me my run on Aquaman was what hooked him into the character, which I was very honored to hear.

So was it the best comic book movie ever made? No, that’s “Black Panther” (although I still have a stupid fondness for “The Phantom.”) Was it the best DC comic book movie ever made? No, that remains “Wonder Woman.”

But it’s definitely up there. Granted, the competition isn’t that stiff, but for me it was my second favorite (okay, maybe the first Tim Burton Batman is second, but only because I loved how fans groused about it for months and were then blown away by it when it hit the screens. Depends on the day and my mood.)

The fundamental plot of the film has already been spelled out quite thoroughly in the promos. It begins at the beginning, with Atlanna (a radiant and ášš-kicking Nicole Kidman) washed up on the shore of a light house, kept by lonely Tom Curry (a digitally youthened Temuera Morrison). They get together and produce a little bášŧárd (I say that because he is frequently referenced that way) who is destined to unite the surface world with the sub-aquatic realms.

That, however, won’t happen if Aquaman’s half brother, Orm (Patrick Wilson) has anything to say about it. Orm wants to wage war on the surface, and I have to say, despite the fact that he’s the bad guy and will use nefarious ends to accomplish his goals, he really does have a valid reason. We’ve dumped garbage into the ocean, polluted it with oil spills, and climate change is killing fish. So when he says the war has already begun, he honestly has a point.

Nevertheless, Mera (Amber Heard) wants to make sure that doesn’t happen, and conscripts Arthur into aiding her. Helping her in this endeavor is Vulko (Willem Dafoe, whose favorite role of mine remains Tars Tarkas in John Carter) who trains Arthur from an early age, preparing him for this eventuality.

Thrown into the mix is Black Manta (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II) and his presence is a little disturbing. The reason I say this involves a spoiler, but since it’s only ten minutes into the film, I’m going to blow the reveal. The submarine we saw Aquaman breaking into in the trailers? The Manta was hijacking it. In the ensuing battle, as the sub is sinking, Manta’s father winds up trapped beneath a ton of rubble. Manta begs an escaping Aquaman to aid him, which he could do easily. He’s strong enough to lift it off with one hand.

Aquaman’s response? “You killed innocent people. Let the seas judge you.” And he leaves.

Holy crap.

The hero of the film ignored someone begging for his help and left him to die. God knows we’ve seen heroes kill enough times in superhero films, but abandoning someone begging for their help? I’m pretty sure that’s unprecedented.

Now me, I loved that. It went against the standard trope/cliché of the hero always doing good. It also provided Manta with a solid reason to despise Aquaman. If it was good enough for Inigo Montoya, it’s certainly good enough for Manta. Others, however, may feel differently, believing that Aquaman invalidates his claim to heroism in the beginning of the film. I can understand that point of view. On the other hand, Aquaman repeatedly doesn’t consider himself a hero, and it gives him a character arc to grow into. It certainly beats having a father who keeps telling him to keep his head down and not get involved with stuff.

So his actions in leaving Manta’s father to die was a surprise to me.

It was one of two (the second occurs much further in and I won’t spoil it.) I was surprised twice in the film. And that was the problem I had.

It was very well acted. The special effects were great. If you enjoy H.P. Lovecraft (referenced early on in a book on Curry’s table) you’ll love the third act.

But there were no surprises.

From the beginning of the film, I suspected what one of the final scenes was going to be. And every step along the way, I knew what every major plot point/beat was before it happened. Whenever things got quiet, and whenever a new story point was explained, I knew something was going to blow up. Boy, did things blow up. I haven’t seen that many explosions since the first Incredibles. “There’s something you should know.” “Really, what?” “This.” Exposition. Boom. No one walks through any doors. No one knocks, announces themselves, gives warning, shouts something threatening. You find out they’re there because the wall or ceiling just erupts. (Atlanna kills half a dozen guys in the first five minutes. Hmm. I wonder what Tom Curry did with the bodies? Toss ‘em in the ocean, I guess.)

It might be because I’ve been a full time writer for over thirty years. It might be because I wrote Aquaman for four years. But honestly, pretty much everything that happened, I saw coming. It was a by-the-numbers comic book movie. Which is, y’know, fine for a summer popcorn flick, except it’s December. The simple fact is that Marvel films have raised the bar for expectations. A few years ago, this would have been mind blowing. Now it’s basically on par with Ant-Man. They’re entertaining films and, especially in Aquaman’s case, should be seen on the big screen (the climactic battle sequences are fantastic and will likely be incomprehensible on a standard television set.) It’s likely going to make a butt load of money and will ideally kick Momoa’s career to the next level because he’ll have proven he can carry a big budget film.

I just really wish there had been more surprises such as Aquaman’s refusal to save Manta’s father, because that genuinely startled me. Startling me with explosions is not the same thing.

Although the best thing to come out of the film was daughter Caroline’s comment on the closing credits. “No animals were harmed in the making of this motion picture. We did, however, go through twenty three Jason Momoas.”

George H.W. Bush

I have to be honest: I never trusted H.W. He was the head spook under Ford, and despite his lengthy track record of various political assignments, I didn’t trust someone who had experience in keeping secrets and thus I feared wouldn’t exactly be transparent.

On the other hand, every president who passes away from this point on will have to face one question: Was he better than Trump?

Was George Sr. better than Trump? Good lord, yes. He fought for this country as an aviator, he believed in the system, and he understood the rule of law. Trump doesn’t. H.W. will be missed.

PAD