Caroline’s Science Experiment. Of Particular Interest if you Hate Cats.

Posted By: Peter DavidPosted On:

Caroline is doing a project for her third grade science fair this year. She’s decide to myth bust the following belief: that if you drop a piece of buttered bread, it will always land butter side down. Her belief was that, in fact, even buttered bread would attend to the law of averages and probability and simply fall butter side down half the time.

She was also aware that cats always land on their feet. So she further decided to see what would happen if you strapped a piece of buttered bread to the back of a cat and let it fall. Would it fall butter side down? Cat feet down? Or would the dropped cat simply spin perpetually in the air on a horizontal plane, like a chicken on a spit roast, unable to land since it was caught between two absolutes?

The family pitched in and here are the results:

We dropped three different types of bread–whole wheat, white, and pumpernickel–from a height of six feet. Each of the pieces was cut into a perfect circle to minimize the drag coefficient. Each slice was dropped fifty times with three different types of spreads: butter; margarine; and “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.” (Personally I want to launch a new spread called, “What the F*ck Is This?” but that’s for a later time.) Each slice was held vertically, by hand, so as not to allow for a predisposition of one side or the other.

The results proved Caroline’s hypothesis. The overall average of the drops were somewhere between 24 for one side and 26 for the other, or reasonably close to fifty percent per slice. There was no pattern to the drops. It’s not as if, for instance, it consistently started falling on the butter side and then, over time, shifted to the unbuttered side as the buttered side diminished. At any given time it could fall either way. The ONLY exception to this was pumpernickel with “I Can’t Believe it’s not Butter” on it. In that instance, it skewed widely toward falling on the buttered side (or, if you will, the “I Can’t Believe it’s not Buttered” side.) The anomalous result leads one to believe that, if you want to avoid having your buttered bread falling butter side down, you’d be wise to avoid either pumpernickel or else “I Can’t Believe it’s not Butter.” We leave the choice of which one to avoid to your personal taste.

Then we moved on to the cat portion.

Kathleen created a harness and strapped it to one of our gray tabbies. A dish was on the other side of the harness, and a piece of white buttered bread was attached to it. The cat was then carried to the proper height and held sideways as much as the squirming animal would allow, and then dropped. The cat landed feet first. Trying this fifty times wasn’t practical, but we did manage to complete three drops. In retrospect, the dropper–Kathleen–should have been wearing gloves and long sleeves as the third time the cat did a pretty good number on her arms before she was able to release it. Once again the cat landed on its feet. Then it managed to twist its head around and tear up the bread–our last sample–with its teeth, thus bringing to an abrupt termination both the experiment and our hopes of winning the Nobel Prize for inventing a perpetual motion machine. It did, however, prompt me to make a note about creating a space ship that runs on the energy generated by a spinning cat with buttered bread on its back.

Science marches on.

PAD

70 comments on “Caroline’s Science Experiment. Of Particular Interest if you Hate Cats.”

  1. Speaking of “caught between two absolutes,” what would happen if the Blob (before he lost his powers) planted his feet and stood firmly in the path of a charging Juggernaut?

    2. They would merge into the Bloggernaut. No blog, not even this one, would be able to stop it.

    5. Juggernaut moves the Blob — Every Time.

      “Proof”

      A) magic beats biology. Juggernaught’s gem is magic. Blob’s power is genetic. For much the same reason that Superman in vulernable to Myxspltlk, Blob would be vuleranble to Juggy.

      B) in an issue of X-man, Collossus grabbed Blob and lifted him into the air — and chunks of teh earth came out of the ground — sticking to Blobs feet. If Juggy hit Blob, – The Blob would move — along with big sections of pavement.

      1. Nice try, Spooon, but:DC rules do not apply in the Marvel Universe, and vice-versa. Besides, even in the DC Universe, Superman is a special case. Turns out that Krypton was always a science-based culture even in its pre-history, and had never gone through a magic period. Thus, Kryptonians are extra-vulnerable to magic for the same reason that Native Americans were extra-vulnerable to smallpox and other European diseases: no genetic resistance. Magic seemed to fade for DC Universe humans after the Middle Ages because ordinary humans had built up some resistance to it.I don’t recall that story you describe, but I do recall one where pre-Phœnix Marvel Girl psychokinetically lifted the Blob, and the earth stuck to his feet, but in “pillars” still fastened to and part of the ground. She couldn’t move him very high and was quickly exhausted for that very reason: the higher she tried to lift him, the more of the Earth’s crust would try to move with him. Basically, his power fastened him to the whole Earth, all the way down to the core if need be. It wouldn’t be mere chunks. It’d be narrow conical sections with large foot-shaped cross sections, at least 20 miles deep (the average depth of the crust under continents), and perhaps many thousands of miles deep (if the mantle were affected as well).

        One wonders what would’ve happened if she’d tried that as Phœnix, after Mastermind had broken the “psychic circuit breakers” and just before she became Dark Phœnix. (Have I ever told you people how much I loathe the “Jean was never really Phœnix” retcon? Why, Kurt!? WHY!?!?)

        I still love how PAD had the Gray “Mr. Fixit” Hulk defeat the Blob, though I’m still not sure that that should actually have worked the way it was shown. ;-D

        Another similar example: what if Rogue touched Leech? This was actually done, and it said that neither power worked the way it should’ve. What should happen is that Rogue would lose her powers (both her own absorption power and any she had absorbed) before she could lay a hand on Leech, since Leech’s power worked by mere proximity, not requiring contact.

        I forget his name, but wasn’t there a mutant villain whose power was to enhance the powers of other mutants in his proximity? What would happen if he came into range of Leech?

      2. Urk! Sorry about that. forgot that WordPress text comments don’t allow the “list” HTML tags. That first huge paragraph should’ve looked something like this:

        Nice try, Spooon, but:

        (A): DC rules do not apply in the Marvel Universe, and vice-versa. Besides, even in the DC Universe, Superman is a special case. Turns out that Krypton was always a science-based culture even in its pre-history, and had never gone through a magic period. Thus, Kryptonians are extra-vulnerable to magic for the same reason that Native Americans were extra-vulnerable to smallpox and other European diseases: no genetic resistance. Magic seemed to fade for DC Universe humans after the Middle Ages because ordinary humans had built up some resistance to it.

        (B): I don’t recall that story you describe, but I do recall one where pre-Phœnix Marvel Girl psychokinetically lifted the Blob, and the earth stuck to his feet, but in “pillars” still fastened to and part of the ground. She couldn’t move him very high and was quickly exhausted for that very reason: the higher she tried to lift him, the more of the Earth’s crust would try to move with him. Basically, his power fastened him to the whole Earth, all the way down to the core if need be. It wouldn’t be mere chunks. It’d be narrow conical sections with large foot-shaped cross sections, at least 20 miles deep (the average depth of the crust under continents), and perhaps many thousands of miles deep (if the mantle were affected as well).

      3. I’m guessing dark Phoenix would have yanked Blob strongly enough as to simply turn the planet inside out. Oh, Blob could say he hadn’t been moved from where he stood, but I’m not seeing him take great comfort from that.

    6. It depends what the Blob is standing on. If the Blob is on dirt or anything that could be torn, then the Juggernaut would send him flying with huge chunks of whatever the Blob was standing on still attached to his feet. If the Blob is standing on, say, a plane made of Adamantium, then we’ve got a ball game.

      PAD

      1. /####/#### /###
        //##///##/ ///
         /####### /###
        /##///## //##
        /####/####/####, PAD!! Ceej here! 🙂
        ///////////////

        That would seem to be the case given the Colossus story that “Spooon” refers to above (which I haven’t seen), but given the Marvel Girl one I read, it seems that his power holds him to the Earth (as in the planet), not what the ground is made of.

        His power would hold together whatever the ground under his feet was made of, so that not just the topsoil under his feet, but also the underlying deeper soil, the bedrock, rest of the Earth’s crust (all twenty miles of it), and likely even the mantle (thousands of miles thick of basically highly compressed granite), would move with him were any force to try to move him that would overwhelm the structural integrity of the ground under his feet.

      2. Urk! WordPress doesn’t like the <tt> tag either, it seems. Lemme try that again:

        /####/#### /###
        //##///##/ ///
        /####### /###
        /##///## //##
        /####/####/####, PAD!! Ceej here! 🙂
        ///////////////

  3. Peter, I have the ASPCA on Line 1, and Late Show with David Letterman on Line 2.

  4. I was always taught that a dropped, buttered slice of bread that landed buttered-side up down was, as a matter of Science, buttered on the wrong side of the bread to begin with. Buttering the correct side of the bread remediates the issue in all cases.

  5. No doubt others will point this out, but Alan Moore covered this conundrum in “Tomorrow Stories” featuring Jack B. Quick. In it, he butters a cat’s back, and then the cats wind up floating in the air.

    1. Astoundingly, Caroline never read that. Nor did I.

      Although if we were seeking true inspiration, perhaps we could have watched “The Outer Limits.”

      PAD

  6. You just know that this is flagging PETA Google alerts all over the place, right?

  7. If she believes that buttered bread would attend to the law of averages then the question of whether the dropped cat simply spin perpetually in the air on a horizontal plane, unable to land since it was caught between two absolutes, would be moot. Since there would not be two absolutes.

    But science doesn’t go on belief. Experimental evidence is required. But once the “dropping buttered toast” experiment was done, no real need to continue with the cat. She already proved experimentally that the “both buttered toast and cats always land a particular way, so what if we combine them” question is based on a false statement.

    Yeah, I know PAD is being somewhat humorous. But even third graders (Especially third graders. Get ’em while they’re young!) doing science should do it right.

    1. Sean,
      The only reason we got to do this one was the cat button on the thing.

      We all know (as does Caroline) that the important part of the whole thing was the bread part of our experiment.

      Vanillie didn’t suffer any ill effects from being dropped the height he normally is when he is pushed off the couch by his brother Millie. He is one of the most mellow cats on the planet.

      1. Kath,
        Oh, I wasn’t worried at all about any abuse happening to the cat. Never crossed my mind.

        My comment was just to point out some of the thinking that should go behind approaching the question and designing the experiment.

        Of course, as Adam and Jamie have so often shown, that doesn’t mean you can’t then go ahead and just have fun.

  8. What if the bread lands on its side? Do you get telepathic abilities?
    .
    “In retrospect, the dropper–Kathleen–should have been wearing gloves and long sleeves as the third time the cat did a pretty good number on her arms before she was able to release it.”
    .
    Good kitty. That’ll teach those evil humans not to conduct their unspeakable science experiments on you.

    1. Actually, one of the drops actually landed on its side and rolled away. That was duly noted.

      PAD

  9. PAD

    Sorry – I don’t know if you guys drink or not.

    But have you guys been drinking?

    Simon.

    1. Yes, with toast. We did it with three kinds of bread and three kinds of spread.

      So slightly different. Also I didn’t know until this week that they had done this experiment. It came out of something that was done at one of Caroline’s birthday parties.

      1. If you want to bust the whole cats land on their feet thing, we could loan you Jenn’s cat Rikki Tikki Tavi. Not only does he occasionally fail that test, but he as a kitten perfected the “I meant to do that” look in about six weeks after joining our household.

    2. Yup, and the MYTHBUSTERS found that the main reason for the “buttered” side landing down is that when you put on the spread (with a butter knife or something similar), you’re pressing down on the bread, changing the bread from a flat, even surface to something that’s concave on one side. And that affects which side lands face-down.

  12. Alan Moore just called to say you stole his Jack B Quick plot form ABC’s Tomorrow Stories.

    Still hee!

  14. Y’know what? The Internet is where satire goes to die.

    The bit with the cat was meant as nothing more than a tongue-in-cheek afterthought that would make some amusing photographs to her display, along with a prop of a plush cat with the harness on its back.

    PAD

    1. No, satire is perfectly fine until it runs into either a comments section or a pub conversation.

    2. Oh, I’m sure everyone got the joke.

      Now they’re on to having a different kind of fun.

      (And next up, can you kill vampires by sticking a #2 pencil in the barrel of a gun before pulling the trigger?)

    3. How can this be where satire goes to die? You have grown men and women discussing (with a nod and a wink) a third grade science fair project and the parameters set around it by the parents of the third grader in question as if it’s a quantum mechanics project with the most serious possible ramifications. If anything, that is satire that comments on the internet mindset.

  15. Old gag. Cute riff. Want to see the pictures. Talking in sentence fragments. Clearly need sleep.

  16. Shouldn’t you have had a control group? That is, unbuttered slices? You could have marked one side on each slice, and then see if it was marked or unmarked side up.

    1. A control group would be ideal for exact science, but you would not be able to mark one side. The idea behind the myth (at least that I’m most familiar with) is that the butter creates a weight imbalance and the heavier side (the side now buttered) will be the side that lands face down. Technically, the ink would be added weight. You might be able to mark both sides though and equalize the balance for the test.

      1. Actually, the usual version of this relates to buttered toast/bread pushed off of the side of a table, which is yet a *DIFFERENT* matter, as most pieces of bread are fairly close to the same size, making their rotation speed the same after they reach the tipping point, and most tables are fairly close to the same height, making the number of rotations before impact fairly predictable.

        Of course, this also presumes accidental nudge off of the table, and not launching at a high speed, where the spin imparted by falling off would differ, as would aerodynamic conditions.

        I’ve never really liked the MythBusters, because for the most part, they never *quite* test what the real myth is.

      3. I’ve never really liked the MythBusters, because for the most part, they never *quite* test what the real myth is.

        But they do blow stuff up. And what’s not to like about that?

  17. Makes me think of Dmitri Martin’s bit about getting I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter because sometimes when he has toast, he likes to be incredulous. Also made me think of how, following Halladay’s no hitter, I was amazed, astonished, and slightly disappointed when I didn’t see the headline, “I Can’t Believe It’s No Batters.”

    Enough puns. Enter Science Geek Mode NOW.

    Presumably, sliced bread is the same depth. I don’t have any right now to measure it, but I’d be curious to know if the thickness of the bread has anything to do with it. Also, the same unbuttered circle of bread (THERE’s a Disney song waiting to be written…) would react differently when buttered.

  18. I believe the essence of the myth is that, by adding the butter to one side, it changes the moment of momentum enough to allow the bread to fall on the “correct” side. By cutting the bread so as to minimize this change, your daughter in effect put her thumb on the scale. I still think she would have been proven right, but on the experiment she performed, that’s speculation and a mere hypothesis.

    By the way, cats tend to land on their feet because their sense of balance in their brains induces them to twist in the air, much like a diver headed for the water from a 3-meter board. Of course, if the cat is a klutz (like Jerry’s?), the premise is deficient.

  19. Over all, not a *bad* example of science for her age. Some degree of control over variables, understanding that repetition is necessary, or it doesn’t count, and a second experiment to confirm the first. I like it!

    1. Thank you.

      That’s what I was going for. If she can see how the scientific method works then she will understand next time why she has to do all those steps to the result.

      I figured let’s do something that’s kind of fun to keep her interest.

  20. This talkback is depressing. A young girl shows an incredible interest in science and comes up with a slant on a comment she hears about regularly. The slant is both humourous and inventive. She shows good intelligence as far as I’m concerned.

    THAT SOMEONE MAY HAVE DONE THIS BEFORE IS IRRELEVANT. SHE IS A YOUNG GIRL WHO DOESN’T KNOW EVERYTHING AND IS HAVING A GOOD TIME!!!!!!

    Some of you lot are the biggest killjoys / smart áršëš I have heard from in a long time. If you have kids I pity them because you seem to just suck the fun out of everything.

    Peter and Kath – keep it up, whatever you are doing with your kids is creating inventive really bright, knowledgable girls. As the father of a two year old who can count to 100 and is starting to write I pray he becomes half of what your kids are. I also hope he’ll be able to think quick enough to answer a question such as ‘What do we know about the Spanish Inquisition?’ with something along the lines of ‘It was unexpected’ too.

    I also look forward to sharing your stories with him, especially the Hulk and Captain Marvel.

  21. I question the decision to drop the bread sideways. In a real life situation, one would be carrying the bread butter side up to avoid getting sticky butter on the plate or the carrier’s hand. If they were to hold it butter side down, the adhesive qualities of the butter would likely render the point of the experiment moot.
    Another way to negate the effects of air resistance would be to drop the bread in a vacuum, but that usually ends up with the bread and experimenter covered with yuck from the dust bag. And you need a really small experimenter.

    1. I was under the impression that the reason the bread lands butter side down is that, if the bread starts at the height of the average counter, the number of rotations it makes by the time it hits the floor will typically result in the side that was up on the counter landing face down on the floor. Since bread is typically butter side up on the counter, it typically lands face down. The weight of the butter has nothing to do with it- as this experiment demonstrates- but in a non-experimental environment where the bread is not held vertically, it still usually falls butter down.

      It’s also entirely possible I’m misremembering an episode of Mr. Wizard.

      1. There is also the matter of how evenly the butter is spread over the surface of the bread. If the butter is far thicker on one quadrant, it would be a little more inclined to spin or rotate along that edge.

  22. Ha! Very fun experiment. Incidentally, your family tales on the ‘previously’ page are the most charming moment in comics every month.
    Sorry to change the topic, but you are no longer listed as the writer for X-Factor on Marvel’s website as of issue #233. An issue that also replaces Jamie with Alex and Lorna(?!)
    X-Factor is the only Marvel book I still read. Please tell me you’re still writing it.
    Again, I apologize for changing the topic. I don’t normally attempt to write to creators (I’m a fan, but not THAT fan), I just panicked at the possibility of Marvel’s best writer leaving Marvel’s only good book.
    Thanks!

    1. Well, I just went to Marvel.com and yes, you’re right, I’m not listed as the writer. On the other hand, if you check many of the other titles, you’ll see that most of them also don’t seem to list the writer. Or artist, or anybody. Go figure. In any event, don’t worry, I”m still the writer.

      PAD

  23. There’s a psychological element to the myth: We often remember bad stuff more than good stuff. If you drop a piece of buttered toast and it lands on the “dry” side, you can probably just brush it off (though the MYTHBUSTERS also took on the “five-second rule”) and eat it without a second thought. But if it lands on the buttered side, it’ll probably be a lot tougher to get any bits of the ground out of it, you’ll probably throw it out (or taste bits of ground), and remember it more since what you wanted to eat got ruined.

    (This is similar to what I call the red light-green light phenomena. When driving, we probably encounter a roughly equal number of red lights or green lights. But if we want to encounter one type (for example, wanting green lights to get somewhere quickly, or wanting red lights to change cds), it often seems we run into the “wrong” light more often just because it’s not the type we wanted.)

  24. So, is the cat doing a report on its take on the experiment? (Beyond trying to determine what blood type Kath is?)

  25. Reminds me of a story of Jack B. Quick by Alan Moore & Kevin Nowlan in Tomorrow Stories.

  26. What I want to know is: why are there so many people dropping buttered pieces of bread on the floor that an entire mythology has sprung up around the act? Are there really that many clumsy people who eat that much bread and butter (as opposed to, say, any other food)? Who are these clumsy bread and butter eaters, and how did their actions become so famous?

  27. What I want to know is, what happens if you butter Schrodinger’s cat? Hmmmmmmmm?

    (Ducks and runs, laughing like an idjit)

  28. Peter, Kath… if you can find a copy, and I haven’t told you about it before… read “The House Guests”, by John D. MacDonald. He documents multiple cases of apparent telepathic communication between his cats, Roger and Geoffrey. Also coordinated combat tactics. As to your fake butter spread, “What The F*ck Is This?”, I say that every time I don’t get something that came out of a cow…

  29. I have a sphinx- she is the clumsiest cat you will ever meet! She’s always falling off furniture, missing the shelf that she’s trying to jump to, etc. Supposedly it’s a breed thing. I see an experiment in here somewhere…

  30. I think you need a much wider sampling of cats, and a much, much higher perch to drop them from.

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