Originally published November 24, 2000, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1410
Assorted stuff:
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I have more or less sworn off appearances at comic book stores. There have been a few fun times here and there, but most of them have been… how shall I put this… less than rewarding.
There was a store in Long Island, for instance, which had me come out for a signing. The weather was crappy. So when no one turned out, I was assured by the store owners that it was because of the foul skies. “No one wanted to come and stand out in the rain,” they told me. “We’d love to have you back another time and hopefully the weather will cooperate.”
Well, I returned six months later, and the weather couldn’t have been more perfect. Not a cloud in the sky, temperature in the 70’s/80’s, birds singing. And naturally—you guessed it—no one showed up. Whereupon the owners said, “Well, the weather was so gorgeous, people didn’t want to stand around in line in a comic store; they wanted to go to the beach.”
Then there was the store where exactly eight people showed up, and one of them stayed for the full excruciating three hours telling me every story idea for every character he’d ever had in the Atlas line from decades ago. Then there was the time that a guy came up to me, told me he hated everything I’d ever written, and then stood there challenging every person who came up to me with something to sign, saying, “Why do you like his work? It’s all crap.” He kept it up for half an hour, the store owner doing nothing, until I ran him out of the place myself. And then there are those wonderful, feel-good questions, such as, “Who are you supposed to be?” and “I thought comics were drawn. What does writing have to do with comics?” and “Do you have a bathroom here?” and, my personal favorite, “Why do your stories suck so bad?”
There have been some pleasant experiences here and there, but by and large they’ve been… somewhat lacking. The worst is when I do out-of-town appearances, because this is the usual pattern: A retailer is enamored of my work. He thinks it would be stupendous to have me in his store, because he’s convinced that all his customers share his viewpoint. He goes to some expense to have me out there (I don’t charge appearance fees, but there’s airfare, and hotel if it’s an overnight stay—some retailers want me to bunk on their pullout couch in their living room, which ain’t gonna happen, guys—plus the money involved in placing ads in local newspapers, printing fliers, that sort of thing.)
And more often than not, these efforts draw little-to-no customers, because comics come out on Wednesday, and that’s when fans go to the comic book store. But I’m there on a weekend, and if I were a hot artist or Neil Gaiman, people would make the extra effort and turn out by the carload. But I’m not, I’m just me. Retailers see people lining up for my autograph at conventions and think that will translate to in-store appearances, but it doesn’t. This used to give me a serious kick in the old ego, but I’ve gotten so used to it that my ego is pretty much shatter-proof by this time. What does get me, though, is the look of frustration and disappointment and embarrassment in the face of the retailer, who has spent time and money in an event that didn’t have the turn-out he’d hoped it would. Being Jewish, naturally I wear my guilt on my sleeve, so I wind up feeling like I’ve let the retailer down. That I wasn’t sufficiently popular to pull people into the store. And the retailer will invariably tell me all the things he did to try and get people to show up, unaware that presenting this litany of futility isn’t helping matters and—in fact—is only making me feel worse. It’s psychodrama that I simply don’t need, which is why I’d sworn off appearances in any store beyond easy driving range, and turn down all such invitations. If it’s a store nearby, fine, because at least the retailer hasn’t had to cover any of my expenses, so the inevitable guilt I feel when I walk into a store and there’s crickets chirping isn’t so palpable.
So when the folks at Dark Horse called and told me that Stephen Jahner, a retailer in Lansing, Michigan , was ready, willing and able to crawl across cut glass in order to have me come out to his store, it took a month to convince me. “He’s a big supporter of Dark Horse,” they told me, “He’s a big fan of Spyboy,” they told me. If Spyboy doesn’t succeed, I sure won’t be able to say it wasn’t promoted: Dark Horse has done more to push that book than all the efforts of Marvel and DC for all my titles combined in all the years I’ve been working for them. So I felt as if I owed Dark Horse something for all that support. And Jahner was absolutely insistent, completely convinced that people would be turning out in droves and I wouldn’t have to sit there in a big pool of guilt because I’d let down yet another retailer. Plus another freelancer whose work I respect vouched for him.
So this is it: My last shot at an out-of-state store appearance. Saturday, November 18th, I will be at Capital City Comics and Books in Lansing, Michigan from 3-7. Sunday, November 19th, I will be at Apparitions Comics in Grand Rapids, Michigan, from 1-4. If this thing tanks, the only way you get me out to a store again is in a body bag.
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So Todd McFarlane seems to have dodged another bullet when the judge set aside the Tony Twist verdict… not disputing that Todd had cost Twist money with his venomous portrayal of Twist as a mobster, but instead saying that it was okay because Todd hadn’t meant to. “The question is whether the defendants intended to cause such injury by using plaintiff’s name,” said the judge. The jury punished Todd for being oblivious of the damage he could and did do, and a higher court judge turned around and rewarded him for it. John Byrne commented that, while not claiming to be psychic, he could practically hear the judge thinking, “It’s just @*%#* comics!” He may very well be right.
The question now is whether McFarlane is going to realize that he had a close call and watch his step… or whether he’s going to feel so empowered that he’s immediately going to reintroduce mobster Tony Twist and have him start suing the police for harassment
In the meantime, we’re left at least with the ironic notion that Todd McFarlane basically pleaded ignorance… and was convincing enough to win doing so.
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When we were down in Florida, my elder daughters, Shana and Gwen, went on the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror. Such a drop usually prompts people to either put their hands over their head in best roller-coaster style, or else grip onto the handrails in front of them for dear life. My children, of course, disdain such clichéd reactions. See if you can pick them out in the photograph that snapped them during mid-drop.
(Peter David, writer of stuff, yadda yadda, so forth, Second Age, Inc., PO Box 239, Bayport, NY 11705.)
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So I’m curious — were the Michigan appearances good or did they tank, big time? I know I didn’t go; that was around the time my Mother was getting changed from one nursing home to another…
As I recall, eight people showed up at each store.
PAD
To PAD: Yikes. Not good.
I wish I’d known at the time. I’d have been there for sure. I live an hour from GR.
It’s weird to feel so frustrated over something that I missed by only fourteen years or so.
I had the pleasure of meeting PAD at a signing at Jim Hanley’s Universe in NYC, and the line seemed pretty long. ‘Twas fun chatting with him, and I don’t recall anyone making obnoxious comments. Maybe ‘cuz it’s a pretty big comic book store.
I had the pleasure of meeting PAD at last year’s NYCC and snagged all his books that I’ve been wanting, and he was gracious enough to sign every purchase, despite my occasional tongue-tied idiocy. As a fan, I try to be respectful because I genuinely like PAD’s work, and reading his blog, he comes off as the kind of guy I’d love to just sit and BS with about everything under the sun from comics, to books, to movies, to politics, to just “How are you doing?” and meeting him in person pretty much cements that impression. There were also moments when I really wanted to ask him about something “behind the scenes”, but then thought it might put him in a position where saying something would be a problem, especially if overheard. So, I settled for just telling him how much I love his stuff, offered condolences on how some of his work had been treated on titles he left, and took his polite “Thank you very much!” as a sign to move on. 🙂
(I still grumble that a place like Book Revue in Huntington doesn’t display his stuff and push it as “supporting a local author”, but that’s me being peevish…)
So did McFarlane learn his lesson?
First time my family rode the Tower of Terror – before they nerfed it bigtime – we had no idea what to expect. But my dad had his glasses in his shirt pocket. when the ride dropped, they didn’t – just slid right out. The really funny thing, though, is when it started back up, they dropped back in neat as you please.
I have a similar picture taken at one of the roller coasters in Cedar Point; my mom and sister were in the front seat, and I had the back seat to myself. So I laced my fingers behind my head and did the whole ride like that. And in the picture, I look like I’m taking a nice little nap *g*
Wow. The one time I was lucky enough to meet you Peter, I had almost the opposite experience. It was at a Babylon 5 convention in Britain, (Blackpool I believe..)and the queue was massive! So much so that the organisers had placed a one item limit on what people could get signed from you. This posed me quite the dilemma.
As I’d promised my little brother, who was pretty much the biggest Hulk fan in the world, that I’d get his copy of The Incredible Hulk: What Savage Beast novel signed from you.
Now I loved Hulk too, heck your run in the comics was about the only title I continued to read at Marvel when the dreaded 90es period seemed to affect the qaulity of writing at Marvel in favour of artists, trading cards, foil covers etc.
So I could understand why he was so insistant on me asking if you could sign it. But I’d loved Imzadi, and really wanted that signed more than anything, as to me it’s still the best Star Trek story written for TNG.
Now if it had come right down to it, I would have gotten just the novel signed for my brother. As I’d already had fun meeting members of the B5 cast. But I thought I’d try my luck and explain said situation to you to see if you’d be kind enough to sign both. As given IIRC the sweltering heat in the hotel I didn’t think I’d manage to wait in the same massive queue twice, if it was even allowed.
I still remember at the time, after I’d got the novel signed to my Brother Antony, (Still one of his prize possessions) when I tried to see if you’d sign Imzadi for me, you very cunningly asked if it was to Antony too. I guess you’d had people try to con you into signing multiple items before using some such an excuse. Luckily I was actually being genuine and said, “No, no. This one’s to me Jason” LOL! (Which you then very kindly signed, thanks again!)
So yeah, reading what it was like for you at the store signings in the US, wow what a contrast!
Hmm, reading this has got me thinking. I wonder if the reason PAD’s had such bad luck with store signings in the US is just the tremendous land size of America, and the way fans would be so much spread further afield?
As I’ve always had very different experiences of meeting writers at comic stores, where it’s always seemed exceptionally busy.
I still remember one of the busiest ones I went to as a kid, where I pretty much totally embarrassed myself not once, not twice, but three times in front of Chris Claremont at the local Glasgow Forbidden Planet!
He was quite nonplussed at me asking him to sign the original version of the end to the Dark Phoenix saga, where Jean survived, calling it ‘the crappy ending!’ I also seemingly unintentionally insulted him by asking if he hated the character of Cyclops as he was my favourite and I’d been unimpressed at how he’d been treated in the years after the phoenix saga. (Of course as young as I was, I had no idea at the time of the background politics that had led to Jeans return and the original x-factor..)
And then just as I was about to leave and was shuffling my way past the queue he’d asked if there was any of the current x-men group that folks didn’t care for. I’d mentioned Psylocke, almaost under my breath, and suddenly he asked for me to come back to the table. Where he was very insistent on knowing why.
Looking back on it, I guess he’d asked that before at stores, and that I wasn’t the first to say so. I was quite nervous through, feeling almost like I was getting into trouble for insulting one of my favourite creators, And so I blurted out that she just seemed like the token telepath on the team and that there wasn’t much interesting about the mysterious new hooded look she’d gotten in the books. (I prefered how she originally appeared in the X-men titles. Even though I’ve seen other people since then mock the so called ‘cabbage patch’ look.)
The funny thing was though that almost immediately afterwards in the books, Psylocke underwent that dramatic transformation into the super sexy asian ninja look that she’s been known for ever since.
So I always feel a little twinge of guilt when people criticise that revamping of her in some quarters, as I wonder if my feedback helped push that along a little as well, when really all I wanted was for her to go back to how she looked in her British appearances and maybe get into her background there a bit more to distinguish her from the Jean/Rachel Greys of the world. LOL!
Anyway, to get back to the original discussion point it was incredibly busy. To the point where I felt like I was almost going to get lynched from the queue for what seemed to some of them to be me questioning the wisdom of the story choices form the writer they’d all showed up to see! Lots of disapproving looks on the way out, and one massive guilt complex from me. But it was a lesson learned. And so since then I’ve always tried to articulate myself better, so that it doesn’t get misinterpreted that I’m criticising the very person I’d shown up to talk to. As if I wasn’t a fan of their work, I wouldn’t even be there!
But yeah I wonder if PAD had gotten to try out some UK store visits if it would have been the same experience he’s had in the US. Or maybe he’d have gotten some idiot kid like I was, saying exactly he wrong thing to him! LOL!
Actually the guy who came up to me and told me how bad my writing was and then harassed people until I threw him out? That was in the UK.
PAD
Oh Man, Dammit! All I can do is apologise on behalf of the UK then. Sure hope it wasn’t in Scotland, as that’s where I am.
Regarding whether Todd M would be dumb enough to think that the decision meant he got away with it clean, and thinking of the occasional “free speech”/”censorship” {scare quotes intentional} that crop here:
Argh. Insert “discussions” after the parenthetical.
Sorry to hear that your comic store appearances haven’t been fun. I wonder whether that sort of thing favors artists rather than writers. The ones who do sketches have the easiest time, since if you’re seen doing something there’s no pressure to make conversation for the full three to four hours scheduled. When artists bring prints to sell and sign, people who don’t read their books can see what they do without any explanation. Leonard Kirk lives in my area, and he is constantly signing at our comic store. We joke that, like Stan Lee on The Simpsons, he never left.