So for Caroline’s birthday dinner (she’s 14 today) we took her out for dinner at our local Outbacks. In the course of the evening, I was recalling an incident at another restaurant many years ago. There was a guy sitting near me who was out on a date with a girl, and he was trying to entertain her by telling her a series of lightbulb jokes.
And she wasn’t laughing, possibly because none of them were funny.
I paid my check and as I got up to leave, I saw a resigned expression on the girl’s face. I paused at their table and said, “How many Surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?”
Surprised, she looked up and said, “How many?”
I replied, “The fish.”
And she broke up. She thought it was hysterical. And the poor guy glared at me because he’d been coming up empty and I had her laughing with one joke. I got out of there as fast as possible.
And in relating that bit of humor from many years gone, we discovered that Caroline was wholly unfamiliar with light bulb jokes. We were horrified that we had omitted that bit of education from her life.
So we want to tell her light bulb jokes.
So hit us with your favorite light bulb jokes.
Don’t go google it; we already did that. My favorite from that one was:
“One.”
“How many psychics does it take to change a lightbulb?”
So wrack your memories and tell us the lightbulb jokes that have stuck with you all this time and we will tell Caroline.
PAD
• 
How many militant Social Justice Warrior activists does it take to change a lightbulb?
— That’s not funny.
(That used to be “militant feminist lesbians”, but time marches on.)
How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb?
— It’s a really obscure number. You’ve probably never heard of it.
The comments are still screwed up – i can see the latest, or i can see the first three, and that’s all.
Glad it’s not just me. Well, not glad because it sucks, but glad that it’s not something on MY end…
How many Wookies does it take to change a lightbulb ?
(Plaintive growl)
How many music critics does it take to change a light bulb?
2, one to change it and the other to say the original was better
How many Jewish grandmothers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Don’t bother, I’ll sit in the dark. (I am Jewish)
How many Time Lords does it take to change a lightbulb?
.
Only one, but it might take a few regenerations to get around to it.
This one is all in selling the delivery.
.
“How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb?”
.
“Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to hold the pëņìš– father– LADDER!”
How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None! Californians screw in hot tubs…
“Knock Knock !”
“Who’s there ?”
“The electrician !”
“The electrician who ?
“The electrician who’s about to change your lightbulb !”
Surprised this one didn’t get mentioned before – It’s stuck with me all these years, though I had to google it to get the exact phrasing:
How many Centauri does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one, but in the great old days of Republic hundreds of servants would change a thousand lightbulbs at our slightest whim!
I just saw this thread earlier today. Coincidentally, I just ran across this over on r/jokes.
How many optometrist does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1… or 2?? Or 1? Or 2?